Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Yummy lunch
So - I just whipped up the best lunch. I love it when I can grab leftovers out of the fridge and make something delicious. Today it was a one-egg omelette with salmon, asparagus and brie. Fabulous!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Academia
I just spent the last 24 hours in Illinois and Wisconsin. My father was awarded an honorary doctorate from the University of Wisconsin. This explains his credentials and the reason for the degree. If you scrol down in this document to Ogren you can read a far less techinical excerpt.
It has been a long time since I have been in an academic setting. We attended the graduation ceremony with all the doctoral students. There were around 1,000 graduates. The thought of the amount of hard work and number of years toiling present in that arena was mind-boggling.
After the ceremony we attended a dinner at the Chancellor's house. Sitting at my table was one of my brothers, a professer of botany and his wife, the chair of the botany department, and the university Provost. I have to admit I hadn't a clue what a Provost does. It turns out he is second in command to the Chancellor. It was interesting to hear an overview of his resonsibilities and challenges.
I thoroughly enjoyed the dinner table conversations. As a stay-at-home mom, I rarely find myself around the table with other adults where there are no kids or discussions about kids. It was very refreshing. Intellectually stimulting conversations are very few and far between in my life. I don't stop and think about my place in life very often, but in times like these I realize how different my life is now compared to when I was in the corporate world. I progressed fairly quickly in my career to posistions with important sounding titles and reponsibilities, but a mere 6 years into my career I left to stay home. I am not saying I regret it, but in some ways it is as if these accomplisments and experiences have been erased. They were something I took pride in and my career was something I was really good at. As a stay-at-home mom, I am only average (to below average) in my skills. I think that this is one of the reasons that singing in the church choir has meant so much to me. To be doing something I enjoy and that I am good at adds a lot of quality to my life.
Over the next few days I will write some more about my trip.
It has been a long time since I have been in an academic setting. We attended the graduation ceremony with all the doctoral students. There were around 1,000 graduates. The thought of the amount of hard work and number of years toiling present in that arena was mind-boggling.
After the ceremony we attended a dinner at the Chancellor's house. Sitting at my table was one of my brothers, a professer of botany and his wife, the chair of the botany department, and the university Provost. I have to admit I hadn't a clue what a Provost does. It turns out he is second in command to the Chancellor. It was interesting to hear an overview of his resonsibilities and challenges.
I thoroughly enjoyed the dinner table conversations. As a stay-at-home mom, I rarely find myself around the table with other adults where there are no kids or discussions about kids. It was very refreshing. Intellectually stimulting conversations are very few and far between in my life. I don't stop and think about my place in life very often, but in times like these I realize how different my life is now compared to when I was in the corporate world. I progressed fairly quickly in my career to posistions with important sounding titles and reponsibilities, but a mere 6 years into my career I left to stay home. I am not saying I regret it, but in some ways it is as if these accomplisments and experiences have been erased. They were something I took pride in and my career was something I was really good at. As a stay-at-home mom, I am only average (to below average) in my skills. I think that this is one of the reasons that singing in the church choir has meant so much to me. To be doing something I enjoy and that I am good at adds a lot of quality to my life.
Over the next few days I will write some more about my trip.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Thundersnow
I heard some thunder last night. I woke up to snow this morning. I wish I would have peeked out the window to see the lightening flashing through the falling snow.And yes, it does snow in May here. June, July, and August are our only snow-free months.
An update on the sick house...
I did get it Monday night - but only mildly. I still felt like crap yesterday and am better today. Julia was still throwing up yesterday morning so I took her in for a shot of phenergan and she is much better now. I was getting worried about her Monday night so I called the doctor and basically asked them to tell me what dire signs to look for and could I put her to bed in her current state without killing her. The nurse thought I ought to bring her in but when I explained that I was home alone with 3 kids and sick myself, she told me Julia would probably be OK.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Half good, Half bad
That was our weekend. Saturday started with some birthday present shopping and then Luke and Nathan went to a baseball game and Julia, Lauren and I went to a birthday party. We rendezvous'd at a restuarant for dinner and then called it a day. Sunday morning we went off to church. The sermon was titled "Singing in the Dark" and the last hymn sung was "How Can I Keep From Singing?". I didn't hear much of the sermon or the hymn since I left partway through the service to nurse Lauren so I could sing service #2. On the way up to the choir loft I caught sight of Luke in the cry room. It threw me for a loop since I had no ideea why he would have been there. I left early during second service and went back to the cry room and found Nathan fast asleep on the couch. He was feeling rotten and was really out.
We got home and he went to the couch and slept for a few more hours. At this point I was getting pretty worried. Nathan can never just be sick. We always have to wonder if it is cancer. Part of me was wishing he had a fever to explain the feeling bad. The other part was glad he didn't have a fever since unexplained fevers were his first symptom of cancer. It is a lose/lose situation.
Julia, Lauren and I went to another birthday party. Luke texted me that Nathan was awake and eating. On the way home I got a call asking how to use the steam cleaner. Nathan had thrown up. So - that was good news - seemed like it was definately a bug.
At about 10:30 last night we heard a hearth wrenching scream and found Julia throwing up in her bed. (yup - definately not cancer) Luke had to get up at 4:00 am to go on a business trip so I sent him to the basement to sleep. I was awake to say goodbye since Julia threw up every half hour all night.
So we will all be hanging around home all day. I am hoping Lauren and I (well - Luke too on his trip) don't get this.
We got home and he went to the couch and slept for a few more hours. At this point I was getting pretty worried. Nathan can never just be sick. We always have to wonder if it is cancer. Part of me was wishing he had a fever to explain the feeling bad. The other part was glad he didn't have a fever since unexplained fevers were his first symptom of cancer. It is a lose/lose situation.
Julia, Lauren and I went to another birthday party. Luke texted me that Nathan was awake and eating. On the way home I got a call asking how to use the steam cleaner. Nathan had thrown up. So - that was good news - seemed like it was definately a bug.
At about 10:30 last night we heard a hearth wrenching scream and found Julia throwing up in her bed. (yup - definately not cancer) Luke had to get up at 4:00 am to go on a business trip so I sent him to the basement to sleep. I was awake to say goodbye since Julia threw up every half hour all night.
So we will all be hanging around home all day. I am hoping Lauren and I (well - Luke too on his trip) don't get this.
Friday, May 05, 2006
How 'bout some cheese curds?
I cannot believe it is Friday again. The days are flying by recently. I last posted on Monday, yet I can barely recall what has happened since then. Luke and I are still getting over our colds and are finally feeling human again.
I guess this week has just been filled with the normal stuff. On Tuesday morning I did some shopping while Nathan and Julia were at school. I got done and still had some time to kill. I decided to have an early lunch at Culvers. I was craving some cheese curds. None of us had even considered trying them but we went there when Luke's parents visited and they mistakenly gave his mom some some instead of onion rings. Oh my god were they good! Fried cheese...good stuff.
We have a busy weekend. I have a dinner for choir tonight. Tomorrow,Luke and Nathan are going to a minor league baseball game and Julia, Lauren and I are going to a birthday party. Sunday we have church in the morning and another birthday party in the afternoon.
I have been lazing this morning. Lauren was very fussy and then she fell asleep on me so I just let her stay on me while I worked on the pictures for our April web page. She is awake now so I need to play UNO with Julia and take a shower.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Updated
I updated Nathan's caringbridge site tonight. Having just done so - I am in no position to blog here tonight - but since his site has no feed I thought I'd give a shout out here.
I will close with a random cute baby picture.
I will close with a random cute baby picture.
Photojojo » Tired: Your Photo on a Box of Wheaties; Wired: Your Photo on a Bottle of Pop
Now this is a cool. I am just trying to decide what a good picture would be and for whom.
Photojojo » Tired: Your Photo on a Box of Wheaties; Wired: Your Photo on a Bottle of Pop
Photojojo » Tired: Your Photo on a Box of Wheaties; Wired: Your Photo on a Bottle of Pop
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Roundup
I thought I would do a general catch-up type of post today.
We have all been passing around a really nasty cold. Remarkably, I was the last to get it this time. Luke has avoided all the sicknesses this year until this one and I got it after him. Nathan got it first and then Julia. We think Lauren has it but it is hard to tell.
So - other than the bad cold thing what has been going on?
Well - feeding and playing with Lauren take up like 80% of my time it seems - especially when she doesn't nap - which is most of the time. I have been working on travel plans to New York in June for Nathan's scans. I have also spent some time on the phone with our insurance company and New York Presbyterian Hospital. This hospital is actually in-network for us, but of course it wasn't that simple. Nathan stayed in their PICU after his surgery since Memorial Sloan Kettering doesn not have a PICU. The attending physician in the PICU is out-of network. Well - it is not like we could pick and choose who attended to Nathan. I don't know how a hospital can be in network and then have it's inpatient doctors not be. So - the insurance company is resubmitting it. It might not seem like a big deal - having to pay 80% of this physician's fee. However - the insurance company has their "reasonable" charge amounts and will pay 80% of those. There is a big gulf between what this doctor charged and the amount the insurance company is willing to pay. So.... I guess we will see what happens. They are trying to collect from us and they have put it on hold for 30 days. If I have to appeal again there might be a choice of a negative mark on our credit or paying more than we owe. This is not the first time this has happened. Ugh.
What else? We have some friends moving back in town after moving to Florida a year and a half ago. The husband was here working this week and we had him over to dinner. It was a good excuse to cook and clean.
I have been playing my guitar and the piano lately. We moved our keyboard to the living room from the basement so I could use it more. When I pick up the guitar, often Nathan joins me on his ukelele ad Julia on the keyboard. I can stand that for about 2 minutes.
Fun task for today....steam cleaning strawberry milk out of the van.
This has gotten long enough I will save updates on everyone else for another entry.
We have all been passing around a really nasty cold. Remarkably, I was the last to get it this time. Luke has avoided all the sicknesses this year until this one and I got it after him. Nathan got it first and then Julia. We think Lauren has it but it is hard to tell.
So - other than the bad cold thing what has been going on?
Well - feeding and playing with Lauren take up like 80% of my time it seems - especially when she doesn't nap - which is most of the time. I have been working on travel plans to New York in June for Nathan's scans. I have also spent some time on the phone with our insurance company and New York Presbyterian Hospital. This hospital is actually in-network for us, but of course it wasn't that simple. Nathan stayed in their PICU after his surgery since Memorial Sloan Kettering doesn not have a PICU. The attending physician in the PICU is out-of network. Well - it is not like we could pick and choose who attended to Nathan. I don't know how a hospital can be in network and then have it's inpatient doctors not be. So - the insurance company is resubmitting it. It might not seem like a big deal - having to pay 80% of this physician's fee. However - the insurance company has their "reasonable" charge amounts and will pay 80% of those. There is a big gulf between what this doctor charged and the amount the insurance company is willing to pay. So.... I guess we will see what happens. They are trying to collect from us and they have put it on hold for 30 days. If I have to appeal again there might be a choice of a negative mark on our credit or paying more than we owe. This is not the first time this has happened. Ugh.
What else? We have some friends moving back in town after moving to Florida a year and a half ago. The husband was here working this week and we had him over to dinner. It was a good excuse to cook and clean.
I have been playing my guitar and the piano lately. We moved our keyboard to the living room from the basement so I could use it more. When I pick up the guitar, often Nathan joins me on his ukelele ad Julia on the keyboard. I can stand that for about 2 minutes.
Fun task for today....steam cleaning strawberry milk out of the van.
This has gotten long enough I will save updates on everyone else for another entry.
Friday, April 28, 2006
April in Colorado
Yesterday the kids were in shorts. It's kind of hard to see but there is snow in that picture.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
She blinded me with....
Science......Channel that is.
I have recently caught a few of the offerings on the Science Channel. I am not sure how well-subscribed it is. We get it on D*TV as one of the extra channels in a package that gives us lots of kids channels.
If you are thirty-something like me you may have watched Mr. Roger's Neighborhood on PBS as a child. Well - I'll take that back because my kids used to watch it on PBS kids channel. But anyway...I loved when he would go to a factory and film how crayons (for example) are made. The Science Channel has a half hour program devoted just to this: How It's Made I never get tired of watching those specialized machines perform their unique tasks and then see hundred drones of the finished product roll off.
Tonight I watched Survivorman for the third time. This guy goes out in the "wilderness" for a week with limited supplies and a bunch of cameras and batteries and survives off the land. In tonight's episode he was set adrift on the ocean in a emergency raft. He is alone, but is monitored in some way for safety. I love to see the "McGuyver" types of things he come up with to survive.
I saw many ads for an upcoming show I am very interested in seeing called Cool Fuel. Here is a blurb:
Shaun Murphy and the Coolfuel Crew set off on an incredible journey to conquer the American Road without gasoline. Can they make it across the country on custom built machines, running on fuels such as corn whiskey ethanol, garbage and wind?
So - if any of you are actually looking for more TV to watch (hah!) You have my recommendations for a channel to surf to
I have recently caught a few of the offerings on the Science Channel. I am not sure how well-subscribed it is. We get it on D*TV as one of the extra channels in a package that gives us lots of kids channels.
If you are thirty-something like me you may have watched Mr. Roger's Neighborhood on PBS as a child. Well - I'll take that back because my kids used to watch it on PBS kids channel. But anyway...I loved when he would go to a factory and film how crayons (for example) are made. The Science Channel has a half hour program devoted just to this: How It's Made I never get tired of watching those specialized machines perform their unique tasks and then see hundred drones of the finished product roll off.
Tonight I watched Survivorman for the third time. This guy goes out in the "wilderness" for a week with limited supplies and a bunch of cameras and batteries and survives off the land. In tonight's episode he was set adrift on the ocean in a emergency raft. He is alone, but is monitored in some way for safety. I love to see the "McGuyver" types of things he come up with to survive.
I saw many ads for an upcoming show I am very interested in seeing called Cool Fuel. Here is a blurb:
Shaun Murphy and the Coolfuel Crew set off on an incredible journey to conquer the American Road without gasoline. Can they make it across the country on custom built machines, running on fuels such as corn whiskey ethanol, garbage and wind?
So - if any of you are actually looking for more TV to watch (hah!) You have my recommendations for a channel to surf to
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The survey says....
Normally I don't answer telephone surveys. For some reason I decided to participate in a radio survey a few months back. I was asked about my listening habits and stations.
They called back a few weeks ago and I begged off and now I know they are in Ohio and so I ignored them using caller ID a few times. Tonight I answered the phone almost before I really registered who was calling and it was the radio survey people.
Well, this time I was asked to listen to clips of songs (ended up being 35 of them) and rate them as follows:
unfamiliar with
never liked
tired of
no opinion
like
favorite
They are building playlists for stations using these surveys. It hadn't occurred to me that they do this - though it makes sense.
So - I felt good about my musical tastes influencing (in a very small way) what people are hearing on the radio.
I had several "never liked". They were either Shania Twain or Faith Hill crossover adult contemporary types. Also - there were two Aerosmith songs. I like most everything Aerosmith but these were the worst two songs - once again - almost as if written to be adult contemporary. I was pleased to be able to rate a Depeche Mode song as a favorite, among some others.
They called back a few weeks ago and I begged off and now I know they are in Ohio and so I ignored them using caller ID a few times. Tonight I answered the phone almost before I really registered who was calling and it was the radio survey people.
Well, this time I was asked to listen to clips of songs (ended up being 35 of them) and rate them as follows:
unfamiliar with
never liked
tired of
no opinion
like
favorite
They are building playlists for stations using these surveys. It hadn't occurred to me that they do this - though it makes sense.
So - I felt good about my musical tastes influencing (in a very small way) what people are hearing on the radio.
I had several "never liked". They were either Shania Twain or Faith Hill crossover adult contemporary types. Also - there were two Aerosmith songs. I like most everything Aerosmith but these were the worst two songs - once again - almost as if written to be adult contemporary. I was pleased to be able to rate a Depeche Mode song as a favorite, among some others.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
My Easter treats
Those of you who know me know I am not overly "girly" but I admit I was excited to be able to buy matching dresses for my little girls for the first time. Nathan picked out his new tie.I have been a singing fool these past two weeks. I attending 12 hours of rehearsals and sang in seven services. I even missed 4 hours of rehearsals and 4 services. I woke up at 3:30 am this morning to nurse Lauren and get ready to go to church by 5:00 am. I sang in an outdoor sunrise service at a nearby park. It was a very cool experience (leterally and figuratively) and definately worth the lack of sleep. Afterwards we all rushed to busses and I sang in the 7:00 am and 8:30 am services as well. Luke brought the kids at 8:00 so I could quickly nurse Lauren in the cry room between services and then we all went home after the 8:30 service.
We just got back from a family walk. The weather is absolutely perfect. It is 70 degrees, sunny and 13% humidity.
Luke is putting Lauren down for a nap and Nathan and Julia are sequestered in the basement for maximum quietness. The sun is streaming in the window and there is a gentle breeze blowing through the room. Ahh....
Ok - well that was a nice moment - but the kids are upstairs again. Lauren is still sleeping at least...for the moment...
Friday, April 14, 2006
Baby toes
Well - I sat down to blog but instead I have a baby on my lap and am eating some yummy baby toes. I will try to catch up on the blogging later.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Note to teachers
Dear school or Sunday school teacher
Please don't send something that needs to be kept alive home with my 3, 4 or 5 year old. I already need to keep a 5 year old, 4 year old, 4 month old and dog fed and watered. Besides, we have plenty of grass in our yard. We really don't need to have more growing on our window sill.
p.s. oh - and Sunday school teacher, please do not give a whole donut to my 5 year old as he leaves class. One sticky donut + 2 kids = crying + mess.
Please don't send something that needs to be kept alive home with my 3, 4 or 5 year old. I already need to keep a 5 year old, 4 year old, 4 month old and dog fed and watered. Besides, we have plenty of grass in our yard. We really don't need to have more growing on our window sill.
p.s. oh - and Sunday school teacher, please do not give a whole donut to my 5 year old as he leaves class. One sticky donut + 2 kids = crying + mess.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
The subconscious mind
So - I set my alarm for 5:50 am before bed last night. I checked the time and turned it right to the setting to the radio alarm. It goes past "on" when I do this. This fact becomes important later. I went to sleep.
Around midnight, mostly asleep, for some reason I turned off my alarm. As soon as I did it I was awake and knew what I had done. I reached over to turn it back on and when I did I noticed I heard nothing as I slid it past the "on" setting. The radio volume was down all the way. I turned it up.
The alarm would not have made a peep this morning. My subconscious mind must have taken note when I set it and alerted me in the night.
I love it when things like that happen.
Around midnight, mostly asleep, for some reason I turned off my alarm. As soon as I did it I was awake and knew what I had done. I reached over to turn it back on and when I did I noticed I heard nothing as I slid it past the "on" setting. The radio volume was down all the way. I turned it up.
The alarm would not have made a peep this morning. My subconscious mind must have taken note when I set it and alerted me in the night.
I love it when things like that happen.
Ahhh....time for me
So - when this weekend ends I will have spent some nice blocks of time (mostly) kid-free. Since Lauren has been born there have been very few such moments.
Yesterday I had choir rehearsal from 9 - 12. I brought Lauren with me and left her in the nursery so I could sneak out and nurse her half-way through. After I can home and nursed Lauren again I went out for about an hour and a half searching for an outfit to wear to an upcoming event. I usually like to shop but my choices are so limited. I need something dressy I can wear and be able to use my breast pump - so two pieces. Yet - I don't want it to look to much like a business suit or be suited mostly for a 60 year old woman. Anyway - I had no luck but I did enjoy my time out.
Today I ran off to church at 7:00. Luke brought the kids in and met me in the cry room where I quickly nursed Lauren between services. I sang all three services this morning and need to be back in 4 hours for this evening special service. I will be going off by myself again. Lauren takes a bottle at 6:00 so I am free! I enjoy simply being in the car by myself. No little voices asking inane question from the back. Just my thoughts and music. Ahhhhhh.
The little amount of family time we have had this weekend has been good. Luke's aunt is in town and we went to visit her and then out to dinner at Chili's. I had a strawberry margarita that cost as much as my entree but was worth it. The whole bottle at 6:00 thing also allows me to have a drink with dinner. Yay!
Anyway - back the alone thing. I am not one of those women who want to be with their kids 24/7. I can't fathom that. I have always had the need for alone time. I just recently realized it was wearing on me and even though I only got a few hours of sleep last night I feel refreshed from having my own time and doing something I love (singing).
Yesterday I had choir rehearsal from 9 - 12. I brought Lauren with me and left her in the nursery so I could sneak out and nurse her half-way through. After I can home and nursed Lauren again I went out for about an hour and a half searching for an outfit to wear to an upcoming event. I usually like to shop but my choices are so limited. I need something dressy I can wear and be able to use my breast pump - so two pieces. Yet - I don't want it to look to much like a business suit or be suited mostly for a 60 year old woman. Anyway - I had no luck but I did enjoy my time out.
Today I ran off to church at 7:00. Luke brought the kids in and met me in the cry room where I quickly nursed Lauren between services. I sang all three services this morning and need to be back in 4 hours for this evening special service. I will be going off by myself again. Lauren takes a bottle at 6:00 so I am free! I enjoy simply being in the car by myself. No little voices asking inane question from the back. Just my thoughts and music. Ahhhhhh.
The little amount of family time we have had this weekend has been good. Luke's aunt is in town and we went to visit her and then out to dinner at Chili's. I had a strawberry margarita that cost as much as my entree but was worth it. The whole bottle at 6:00 thing also allows me to have a drink with dinner. Yay!
Anyway - back the alone thing. I am not one of those women who want to be with their kids 24/7. I can't fathom that. I have always had the need for alone time. I just recently realized it was wearing on me and even though I only got a few hours of sleep last night I feel refreshed from having my own time and doing something I love (singing).
Friday, April 07, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Palm Sunday
I have been remiss in writing about choir. We are getting ready for Palm Sunday and Easter. This has meant lots of extra rehearsals and also lots of cool music.
The choir director (Minister of Music as well) has composed three original pieces for Palm Sunday. Every year the Palm Sunday evening concert has a theme based on events from the previous year. This year it is hurricane Katrina. The writing is reminiscent of John Rutter and very evocative. In the song titled "Thank you Lord for the Storms in Our Lives" the music ebbs and flows like the surf. We are singing acapella.
We rehearsed a little of our Easter music last night and we are singing the Hallelujah Chorus. Very fun!
The choir director (Minister of Music as well) has composed three original pieces for Palm Sunday. Every year the Palm Sunday evening concert has a theme based on events from the previous year. This year it is hurricane Katrina. The writing is reminiscent of John Rutter and very evocative. In the song titled "Thank you Lord for the Storms in Our Lives" the music ebbs and flows like the surf. We are singing acapella.
We rehearsed a little of our Easter music last night and we are singing the Hallelujah Chorus. Very fun!
Monday, April 03, 2006
Three too many
I subscribe to a listserv for neuroblastoma. This listserv has literally been a lifesaver for us. Without it I would not have known about the uniquely talented surgeon who has removed tumors from Nathan that other doctors could not. I would also not have known aout the antibody therapy that I also believe is one of the reasons Nathan is still here with us.
This listserv also serves as emotional support for the family members. In the last 24 hours, three children have died. One of these kids was a walking miracle. He was in treatment for 84 months before achieving remission. He had been cancer free for three years. Normally a child who does not reach remission in the first 7 months or so will die. Well - he died, not from cancer, but from a perferated bowel. Most likely his abdominal surgeries and cancer treatments were a contributing factor.
It is all just so sobering.
There is a member of the listserv whose 40 year old husband has been battling this children's cancer for 3 years. She writes in prose, mostly and never in caps. She wrote something today I would like to share:
i do not think I shall ever understand
how real life is opposite
to what seems right
strength comes out of weakness
love is forged in the fires of battle
patience comes through trials
wisdom comes through loss
grace comes through pain
kindness and compassion come through having been wounded
such things
all the money in the world cannot buy
and if
we are lucky enough to possess any of them
even for a moment
it shall come through real trial
and we cannot ever
close our hand over it and keep it as our own
it is given
to share and to be given away freely
because
crazily enough
the more you give away
the more you have
how strange life is
carrie
This listserv also serves as emotional support for the family members. In the last 24 hours, three children have died. One of these kids was a walking miracle. He was in treatment for 84 months before achieving remission. He had been cancer free for three years. Normally a child who does not reach remission in the first 7 months or so will die. Well - he died, not from cancer, but from a perferated bowel. Most likely his abdominal surgeries and cancer treatments were a contributing factor.
It is all just so sobering.
There is a member of the listserv whose 40 year old husband has been battling this children's cancer for 3 years. She writes in prose, mostly and never in caps. She wrote something today I would like to share:
i do not think I shall ever understand
how real life is opposite
to what seems right
strength comes out of weakness
love is forged in the fires of battle
patience comes through trials
wisdom comes through loss
grace comes through pain
kindness and compassion come through having been wounded
such things
all the money in the world cannot buy
and if
we are lucky enough to possess any of them
even for a moment
it shall come through real trial
and we cannot ever
close our hand over it and keep it as our own
it is given
to share and to be given away freely
because
crazily enough
the more you give away
the more you have
how strange life is
carrie
Interesting Tidbit
This was forwarded to me....
On Wednesday at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.......[1,2.3.4.5.6]
That will never happen again.
You may now return to your (normal?) life.
On Wednesday at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.......[1,2.3.4.5.6]
That will never happen again.
You may now return to your (normal?) life.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Hot men
So - Luke's most recent blog entry is of women with guitars. He likes Lisa Loeb in particular. He mentions her in his entry title "if I were single"
Ha!
I thought I should reciprocate with two of my favorite leading men.
Ha!
I thought I should reciprocate with two of my favorite leading men.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Pimp my Ride, Strawberry Shortcake
So - the night before last I had a very vivid dream. I was in a parking lot and there was something illegal going on with another van in the lot. Nothing too strange there. However - in my dream the van was pink with Strawberry Shortcake all over it. No reason why. I tried to emulate the van - couldn't really capture it though...
Tagged....
~A~ has tagged me with a meme.
Here goes....
1. Who was your first prom date?
Terry - he was also my second, third and fourth prom date. Here is a prom picture...when you see my hair, remember this was the 80s
2. Who was your first roommate?
My freshman dorm-mate in college. I moved out half-way through the year because we could not get along as roommates. We were friends afterwards and even shared an apartment later which worked out OK since we had our own bedrooms.
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time?
Christian Brothers brandy taken from my friend's parents liquor cabinet.
4. What was your first job?
I worked at Old Mill Pottery- a large craft store. It wasn't too bad for a first job. Sometimes I had to vaccuum and that was bad. I also had to bag peat moss on occasion.
5. First CD you bought?
I honestly cannot remember. My first tape was Journey - Frontiers
6. When did you go to your first funeral, whose?
I actually have never been to a funeral. My grandparents' funerals were all out of state and my sibs and I did not go.
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your first hometown?
18 to go to college. I lived in the same house in the same town until then.
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Pittman. She was so old-school. She would rap your palm with a ruler if you did something wrong.
9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
England to live for a year when I was 3
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Hmm - well I never snuck out when I was supposed to be in - but I did sneak my first boyfriend in.
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?
Diana who lived 2 houses down. No - I am not. I got in touch with her a few years back but I only got one email and didn't hear from her again.
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents' house?
A dorm at Purdue University
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Luke
14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
Julie - college roommate. The dresses were purple crushed velvet with “dog collars”.
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Take my thyroid medication
16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
Neil Diamond with a friend's family when I was about 8 or so.
17. First tattoo or piercing?
No tattoo - I got my ears pierced when I turned 18 at college. My dad wouldn't have allowed it when I was living at home.
18. First celebrity crush?
Morten - lead singer of A-ha
19. First crush?
Hmm - probably Matt W.
20. First sexual experience?
All I will say is it was not with the prom date from question #1
The tagging will stop here because most of my blog friends are men...they are not so fond of the meme.....
Here goes....
1. Who was your first prom date?
Terry - he was also my second, third and fourth prom date. Here is a prom picture...when you see my hair, remember this was the 80s2. Who was your first roommate?
My freshman dorm-mate in college. I moved out half-way through the year because we could not get along as roommates. We were friends afterwards and even shared an apartment later which worked out OK since we had our own bedrooms.
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time?
Christian Brothers brandy taken from my friend's parents liquor cabinet.
4. What was your first job?
I worked at Old Mill Pottery- a large craft store. It wasn't too bad for a first job. Sometimes I had to vaccuum and that was bad. I also had to bag peat moss on occasion.
5. First CD you bought?
I honestly cannot remember. My first tape was Journey - Frontiers
6. When did you go to your first funeral, whose?
I actually have never been to a funeral. My grandparents' funerals were all out of state and my sibs and I did not go.
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your first hometown?
18 to go to college. I lived in the same house in the same town until then.
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Pittman. She was so old-school. She would rap your palm with a ruler if you did something wrong.
9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
England to live for a year when I was 3
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Hmm - well I never snuck out when I was supposed to be in - but I did sneak my first boyfriend in.
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?
Diana who lived 2 houses down. No - I am not. I got in touch with her a few years back but I only got one email and didn't hear from her again.
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents' house?
A dorm at Purdue University
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Luke
14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
Julie - college roommate. The dresses were purple crushed velvet with “dog collars”.
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Take my thyroid medication
16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
Neil Diamond with a friend's family when I was about 8 or so.
17. First tattoo or piercing?
No tattoo - I got my ears pierced when I turned 18 at college. My dad wouldn't have allowed it when I was living at home.
18. First celebrity crush?
Morten - lead singer of A-ha
19. First crush?
Hmm - probably Matt W.
20. First sexual experience?
All I will say is it was not with the prom date from question #1
The tagging will stop here because most of my blog friends are men...they are not so fond of the meme.....
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Turn your head
There was an article about this product in the paper yesterday. What a unique idea.http://www.turnyourhead.com/
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Songs for a long, empty road
On a board I am part of, my friend ~A~ asked the question,
What songs would you love to listen to while driving down a long, empty road?
Here is my answer - if you read this and you have a blog - consider yourself tagged (or answer in the comments of you don't).
1. Big Log - Robert Plant
2. In a Daydream - Freddy Jones Band
3. Lake Charles - Lucinda Williams
4. Song Two - Blur
5. Going the Distance - Cake
6. Sunset Grill - Don Henley
7. Snowin' on Raton - Pat Green
8. Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads
9. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
10. Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
What songs would you love to listen to while driving down a long, empty road?
Here is my answer - if you read this and you have a blog - consider yourself tagged (or answer in the comments of you don't).
1. Big Log - Robert Plant
2. In a Daydream - Freddy Jones Band
3. Lake Charles - Lucinda Williams
4. Song Two - Blur
5. Going the Distance - Cake
6. Sunset Grill - Don Henley
7. Snowin' on Raton - Pat Green
8. Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads
9. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
10. Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Paying the man
So - yesterday I tackled the medical bills. This is something I do about once every three months. Being an accountant (in my former life) it feels counterintuitive to leave a bill sitting for three months. However, I have learned that if I were to go through these bills once a month I would waste a heck of a lot of time looking at incorrect bills. If I give them a few months to send the bills out they are more likely to be correct after a few months.
So my stack of bills (picture is coming if stupid blogger will only let me add one) yielded five checks, and five phone calls. Yup - 3 of the bills were just plain wrong. Actually a fourth was wrong too - but I paid them the right amount and sent them a spreadsheet showing them the correct figures.
If I didn't have a CPA I would be paying a lot of money I didn't owe. I really feel for people who do not have the training to decipher a medical bill. So many people are being screwed.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Sick Sick Sick
Last Monday I had the stomach flu. I got it again Thursday night. Yesterday (Monday) I had another bout of Mastitis. I am so tired of being sick! My body is so dragged down right now. Unfortunately nursing moms are susceptible to mastitis when they have been sick. I am going to try to get back on my vitamins and try to figure out some way to boost my immune system.
One good thing that happened is the on-call doctor agreed to prescribe me antibiotics without seeing me last night. I convinced myself all day that I would get better as the day went on but my fever rose right after the office closed.
I laughed out loud yesterday while readin my breastfeeding book " Now is the time to pamper yourself so you can get well before attempting to resume responsibilities. Enlist all the help you can from your partner, extended family, friends, neighbors or members of your church. For at least two days, arrange to be relieved of all your duties, except brestfeeding your baby.....etc etc"
So I guess trudging through the snow with an infant carrier to deliver Julia to and from her classroom this morning and shopping at Wal-mart was not what the author intended.
One good thing that happened is the on-call doctor agreed to prescribe me antibiotics without seeing me last night. I convinced myself all day that I would get better as the day went on but my fever rose right after the office closed.
I laughed out loud yesterday while readin my breastfeeding book " Now is the time to pamper yourself so you can get well before attempting to resume responsibilities. Enlist all the help you can from your partner, extended family, friends, neighbors or members of your church. For at least two days, arrange to be relieved of all your duties, except brestfeeding your baby.....etc etc"
So I guess trudging through the snow with an infant carrier to deliver Julia to and from her classroom this morning and shopping at Wal-mart was not what the author intended.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Choir - Sunday, March 19 2006
After 2 weeks off I got to sing in church today. It was so nice to be back singing.
The Offeratory was: "Lord, You Are Our Life" by Dauermann. You can here it here. The song is written for a choral group, Liberated Wailing Wall who sings "jewish gospel music". They are a part of Jews for Jesus.
The Anthem was "Be Still My Soul" - arranged by Bird. It is an beautiful arrangement of the classic hymn. You can hear a clip here.
Now if I could just start singing two services again. As it is I wake up Lauren to eat at 6:30, leave the house at 7:00 - rehearse at 7:30, sing from 8:00 until 9:00 and then it is time to feed her again at 9:00 - so I really can't sing at the 9:30 (for which I need to be in the rehearsal room by at least 9:15). Time is flying though! She will be a year old before I know it and weaned.
The Offeratory was: "Lord, You Are Our Life" by Dauermann. You can here it here. The song is written for a choral group, Liberated Wailing Wall who sings "jewish gospel music". They are a part of Jews for Jesus.
The Anthem was "Be Still My Soul" - arranged by Bird. It is an beautiful arrangement of the classic hymn. You can hear a clip here.
Now if I could just start singing two services again. As it is I wake up Lauren to eat at 6:30, leave the house at 7:00 - rehearse at 7:30, sing from 8:00 until 9:00 and then it is time to feed her again at 9:00 - so I really can't sing at the 9:30 (for which I need to be in the rehearsal room by at least 9:15). Time is flying though! She will be a year old before I know it and weaned.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Stroller skis
http://www.basiccomfort.com/item.asp?item=20052
These actually might have come in handy a few times in NYC when we had several inches of snow. Too funny.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Valley boy?
Nathan has started using verbage he is picking up elsewhere. About 2 weeks ago he started saying things such as "I was like, 'what are you doing with that?'" He does it constantly and I know Luke and I do not. He does watch Scooby Doo and Shaggy uses like alot - but I don't think he uses it in that way.
As of today he has started to use the word bummer. Luke and I occasionally use it but Nathan is clearly trying it on for size. He has been muttering it, like tonight when he said, "only two! what a bummer!"
It is such a funny thing to hear your child create their own way of talking and trying on new ways to expres themselves. I just hope the "I was like" phase doesn't last too long.
As of today he has started to use the word bummer. Luke and I occasionally use it but Nathan is clearly trying it on for size. He has been muttering it, like tonight when he said, "only two! what a bummer!"
It is such a funny thing to hear your child create their own way of talking and trying on new ways to expres themselves. I just hope the "I was like" phase doesn't last too long.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
My little turtle
Lauren is 4 months old today. Where has the time gone? At my last report she was rolling like mad. Now that she mastered that skill she is trying her hardest to sit up from laying on her back. She lifts her head as high as she can and holds it up until she is too tired. She will keep the pose in the picture for 10 seconds or more. It is crazy and also quite humerous.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Awesome weekend
The blog has been quiet as we have all been in Chicago all weekend. Well - I did manage to slip in the Steak n Shake post. I LOVE Steak n Shake and they do not have any in Colorado. We got in Thursday night and by 10:30 Friday morning I had to have it. So off Luke and I went to grab some and I scarfed it down in the car and the kids were none the wiser. We also had it again late Friday night. Yummmm.Anyway - we were in Chicago to see Matt (my cousin, Luke's friend...well not just my cousin because he and Beth are my friends too) get his head shaved for St. Baldrick's. Luke and Matt went into the city around noon and Beth and I brought all the kids in around 2:00.
The event was in an irish pub and it was loud and crowded but fun. Nathan had the honors of shaving Matt's head. We weren't sure he would even consider doing it but he thoroughly enjoyed himself. Afterwards we hung around for awhile and the kids had sodas and food. Nathan was all smiles. He truly enjoyed the bar scene. I even nursed Lauren while we were there...that was a first for me.Beth and I packed all the kids in the van and headed out. We had an "only a mom would do this" moment when one of the children had to pee while we were stuck in traffic. There was an aborted attept to use a water bottle and a successful pee into a mug while driving along.
The kids had lots of fun playing and adults enjoyed conversing and catching up. Saturday night my brother, Aaron, Luke's sister, Anna, her boyfriend, Nick, and friends (who will remain nameless and that is a story I won't get into) joined us for pizza. It was great seeing everyone.
We returned late night to bad weather here in Colorado but eventually made it home from Denver.
I was wary about how hectic this trip would be but it far exceeded my expectations and was worth every difficult moment (of which there were few).
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Funny and sad
First the sad...
I went to Wal-mart yesterday. I glanced at the clearance rack in the boys department. They had a pair of boys snow pants for $5. They were too big - maybe the right size for Nathan in a year or so. I wanted to buy them and pack them away. I just couldn't do it. I just cannot buy clothes ahead for Nathan. I picture myself coming accross the pants and Nathan is no longer with us. This is not the first time this has happened. For some reasons buying clothes based on a bigger older Nathan is one step I just can't quite take. It was a big bummer in what was just supposed to be a routine grocery shop on a morning without the big kids.
Now the funny...to me anyway
Nathan was smelling a plastic bag (why do kids have to smell everything?).
He told Julia it smelled like oxygen. These little warped things from his medical life always make me laugh.
Also -this morning Luke finally proved to Nathan and Julia they were not drinking Seventy Delight. He had Nathan read the bottle. We had tried to tell them it was Sunny but they didn't quite believe us.
I went to Wal-mart yesterday. I glanced at the clearance rack in the boys department. They had a pair of boys snow pants for $5. They were too big - maybe the right size for Nathan in a year or so. I wanted to buy them and pack them away. I just couldn't do it. I just cannot buy clothes ahead for Nathan. I picture myself coming accross the pants and Nathan is no longer with us. This is not the first time this has happened. For some reasons buying clothes based on a bigger older Nathan is one step I just can't quite take. It was a big bummer in what was just supposed to be a routine grocery shop on a morning without the big kids.
Now the funny...to me anyway
Nathan was smelling a plastic bag (why do kids have to smell everything?).
He told Julia it smelled like oxygen. These little warped things from his medical life always make me laugh.
Also -this morning Luke finally proved to Nathan and Julia they were not drinking Seventy Delight. He had Nathan read the bottle. We had tried to tell them it was Sunny but they didn't quite believe us.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Potpourri
I have several things to blog but I will be lazy and do it all in one entry.
Geeks R Us
So - Sunday night Luke and I were in bed watching TV. He leaned over to kiss me and our glasses clinked together. We chuckled about that being geeky. Then we reviewed our activities of the day. Our HD TIVO's hard drive had died the day before. So - we bought a new one - stuck it in our desktop and put the TIVO OS on it and popped it back in the TIVO. We then took the old TIVO one reformatted it - found it was workable again and fiddled with all our drives in the computer, moved some data around and put it back together. Pretty geeky activities. Of course - I did have a hard drive residing on my bedside table for over a year from when we hacked our bedroom TIVO. That's a good sign too.
How to traumatize your five-year old
Poor Nathan. I went through a car wash today. He hates this particular one because it is very loud. He started screaming when the water started. I looked back and soap and water were streaming in the pop-out windows in the back of the van by him. I promptly closed them - no big deal - but he was so upset. He just cried until it was over. Unfortunately I couldn't stop laughing.
Why I LOVE Colorado
I love the weather in Colorado. It is almost always sunny and the weather has great fluctuations from one day to the next. Not so long ago it was -12. Today it was 70. It will still snow and get plenty cold before summer but I love these *bonus* spring days we get here and there.
Geeks R Us
So - Sunday night Luke and I were in bed watching TV. He leaned over to kiss me and our glasses clinked together. We chuckled about that being geeky. Then we reviewed our activities of the day. Our HD TIVO's hard drive had died the day before. So - we bought a new one - stuck it in our desktop and put the TIVO OS on it and popped it back in the TIVO. We then took the old TIVO one reformatted it - found it was workable again and fiddled with all our drives in the computer, moved some data around and put it back together. Pretty geeky activities. Of course - I did have a hard drive residing on my bedside table for over a year from when we hacked our bedroom TIVO. That's a good sign too.
How to traumatize your five-year old
Poor Nathan. I went through a car wash today. He hates this particular one because it is very loud. He started screaming when the water started. I looked back and soap and water were streaming in the pop-out windows in the back of the van by him. I promptly closed them - no big deal - but he was so upset. He just cried until it was over. Unfortunately I couldn't stop laughing.
Why I LOVE Colorado
I love the weather in Colorado. It is almost always sunny and the weather has great fluctuations from one day to the next. Not so long ago it was -12. Today it was 70. It will still snow and get plenty cold before summer but I love these *bonus* spring days we get here and there.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Living my life three months at a time
That is my reality. Now that Nathan has had clean scans we have a three month reprieve. I literally will only plan ahead in three month increments. Last spring we had the whole summer break planned out and then Nathan relapsed. It was so disappointing to have to cancel plans. I guess I am feeling burnt by that.
One of the fun things to plan in this period is a visit to my parents in Hilton Head. Nathan and Julia adore the beach, pool and grandparents there and have been talking about the trip for weeks already.
I just can't really describe the way it feels during scan time. It is as if someone is flipping a coin. One side says "your child gets to live..go on and have a normal life for 3 months" the other side says "your child is going to die, but first he will have grueling treatments and months of pain"
It makes it hard to live a normal life. Living a "normal" life is what I aspire to do and is something I work very hard at. That is really what it is all about for me. I don't think anyone knows how much work it really is for me.
One of the fun things to plan in this period is a visit to my parents in Hilton Head. Nathan and Julia adore the beach, pool and grandparents there and have been talking about the trip for weeks already.
I just can't really describe the way it feels during scan time. It is as if someone is flipping a coin. One side says "your child gets to live..go on and have a normal life for 3 months" the other side says "your child is going to die, but first he will have grueling treatments and months of pain"
It makes it hard to live a normal life. Living a "normal" life is what I aspire to do and is something I work very hard at. That is really what it is all about for me. I don't think anyone knows how much work it really is for me.
We have a roller!
Lauren has been trying so hard to roll over. So, of course the other day when we were in NYC I walked away for a moment and came back to find her on her tummy. This morning she repeated the feat two more times for us. She is trying to go from tummy to back but is a ways away from that. She is our earliest roller at 3.5 months. Part of me is a little sad that she is growing so fast!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Le Pain
As in "the bread". My favorite place to eat in NYC is Le Pain Quotidien. It is a french bakery with divine salads and sandwiches (tartines) and a cappucino to die for. Nathan requested McDonalds for lunch and so that is what he had and then Luke and I had lunch while Nathan at a belgian brownie.
Yum.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Scent memories
Last night Luke drank a cognac mini bottle that he had gotten in his Christmas Stocking. I took a whiff of it and I was immediately transported back to the age of 15. The first alcohol I ever had was Christian Brothers Brandy - swiped from a friend's parents stash. It was just an immediate jolt and for a milli-second I was 15 again. I love it when things like that happen.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Feeling stressed
It has been a stressful few days trying to figure out Nathan's scan schedule in New York and all the travel details. Mostly the decision about who will be going with Nathan is causing major angst. Luke and I have so many mixed feelings. We decided earlier today that everyone but Julia would be going. I am not having second thoughts about that. I just picture it from her perspective...her whole family heading off on an airplane without her. It tears me up. We are trying to balance what would be easiest, money, and emotions and there is no good answer. I am hoping i wake up tomorrow with a more clear idea of what is right.
I called our neighbors to see if they would care for our dog. They have cared for her in the past when we have been away for medical reasons. Their oldest daughter (16) also babysits for us. They told me that this daughter had just been diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease. I was floored. I just can't believe that they are also being affected by childhood cancer. It just sucks and darn it - I feel like since it happened to us that the rest of the neighborhood should statistically be exempt.
We all went to church tonight. I am just so emotionally tired that it was hard to concentrate but I am really looking forward to singing this Sunday. I will do a separate post about that.
I hope my stress level is down tomorrow and we can make a final decision about our trip.
I called our neighbors to see if they would care for our dog. They have cared for her in the past when we have been away for medical reasons. Their oldest daughter (16) also babysits for us. They told me that this daughter had just been diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease. I was floored. I just can't believe that they are also being affected by childhood cancer. It just sucks and darn it - I feel like since it happened to us that the rest of the neighborhood should statistically be exempt.
We all went to church tonight. I am just so emotionally tired that it was hard to concentrate but I am really looking forward to singing this Sunday. I will do a separate post about that.
I hope my stress level is down tomorrow and we can make a final decision about our trip.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Legos
Nathan got Lego X-pod at the clinic on Friday. He took to it very quickly and was soon making all kinds of vehicles out of it. Of course, I had to first convince him it was OK for him to play with it since it said ages 6 +. I told him that he rounds to 6.
I went out yesterday and got the biggest tub of Legos I could find (and some more X-pods for travel) and brought it home. This tub said ages 4+ and Julia was quite happy about that. The two of them have been having so much fun. I love Legos and am quite excited to now be able to play with them again! I am now wishing for the hundreds of Legos and cool Lego parts I played with growing up that are now residing in South Carolina with my parents.
I went out yesterday and got the biggest tub of Legos I could find (and some more X-pods for travel) and brought it home. This tub said ages 4+ and Julia was quite happy about that. The two of them have been having so much fun. I love Legos and am quite excited to now be able to play with them again! I am now wishing for the hundreds of Legos and cool Lego parts I played with growing up that are now residing in South Carolina with my parents.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Missing in action again
I have been remiss in blogging again. Thursday and Friday were pretty busy. We had appointments and errands and Lauren is becoming more demanding as she becomes more aware of the world around her.
As I wrote in Nathan's blog, we are going to be off to New York very soon to do his scans there. Luke got a call Friday afternoon confirming Nathan's bone marrows for Monday morning. He had to tell them there was no way we could be there Monday morning so they are rescheduling. I had given them a range of dates that they obviously ignored. Hopefully we will have a schedule early next week. We still need to figure out how we are getting there and where we are staying so we can figure out if we are bringing Julia with us.
We are in enjoying the company of Luke's parents this weekend. Mike was unable to travel at Christmas and so this is his first chance to meet Lauren. Luke and I took advantage of them being here and ran out to mattress shop. We tried out one of those foam beds. We decided they are comfy and less bouncy - but not worth $1000 more than a regular mattress. We picked one out and said we were going elsewhere to look. They then played the "call my manager" game when we put our price out there. Of course, the manager said yes and the other salespeople went on and on about how suprised they were that the "manager" let him give us such a good deal. Luke and I just rolled our eyes at eachother. Do people really fall for that stuff?
So - we are off to church in the morning. I am looking forward to singing after missing the past two weeks. It does mean me getting up at 5:45 so I can get ready and also feed Lauren - but it is worth it for me.
By the way - it was negative 10 degrees this morning when we woke up this morning. Right now (mid-afternoon) it is a balmy 8 degrees. At least it is sunny....
As I wrote in Nathan's blog, we are going to be off to New York very soon to do his scans there. Luke got a call Friday afternoon confirming Nathan's bone marrows for Monday morning. He had to tell them there was no way we could be there Monday morning so they are rescheduling. I had given them a range of dates that they obviously ignored. Hopefully we will have a schedule early next week. We still need to figure out how we are getting there and where we are staying so we can figure out if we are bringing Julia with us.
We are in enjoying the company of Luke's parents this weekend. Mike was unable to travel at Christmas and so this is his first chance to meet Lauren. Luke and I took advantage of them being here and ran out to mattress shop. We tried out one of those foam beds. We decided they are comfy and less bouncy - but not worth $1000 more than a regular mattress. We picked one out and said we were going elsewhere to look. They then played the "call my manager" game when we put our price out there. Of course, the manager said yes and the other salespeople went on and on about how suprised they were that the "manager" let him give us such a good deal. Luke and I just rolled our eyes at eachother. Do people really fall for that stuff?
So - we are off to church in the morning. I am looking forward to singing after missing the past two weeks. It does mean me getting up at 5:45 so I can get ready and also feed Lauren - but it is worth it for me.
By the way - it was negative 10 degrees this morning when we woke up this morning. Right now (mid-afternoon) it is a balmy 8 degrees. At least it is sunny....
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Finally healthy
I have finally fully recovered from the bug we had as well as a bout of Mastitis that cropped up on Sunday. I was actualy able to go do a full grocery shopping trip yesterday while Nate and Jules were in school. I even made it to Julia's class party. Nathan also had one - but I am completely a "slacker mom" in his class. I haven't done one thing in his classroom. I would like to, but I do not have the time or ability with having a nursing baby. I figure by the time Lauren is Kindergarten I will be able to be one of those moms that does everything and fills the other moms with guilt.
Sleep is still running short in this house because Lauren is not sleeping. We believe she is teething. Nathan and Julia both got teeth at 4 months and I think Lauren is trying to beat them. After crying off and on for 2 or three hours I finally went and slept with her. She laid on my chest and whimpered. It was so sad. She is normally such a happy baby and she has been so cranky. I hope if it is teeth the first one hurries up and pokes through. The first one is always the worst.
I need to cut this short- I have a baby on me who seems to be waking up. She has her mouth burried in my shoulder. Poor thing.
Sleep is still running short in this house because Lauren is not sleeping. We believe she is teething. Nathan and Julia both got teeth at 4 months and I think Lauren is trying to beat them. After crying off and on for 2 or three hours I finally went and slept with her. She laid on my chest and whimpered. It was so sad. She is normally such a happy baby and she has been so cranky. I hope if it is teeth the first one hurries up and pokes through. The first one is always the worst.
I need to cut this short- I have a baby on me who seems to be waking up. She has her mouth burried in my shoulder. Poor thing.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Tagged: Three things
I got tagged by Mommasita
3 names I answer to:
Susan
Mommy
Hun
3 parts of your heritage:
Irish
German
Swedish
3 things that scare me:
losing a child
spiders
nuclear war
3 of your everyday essentials:
my computer
cranberry juice
breast pump
3 things you are wearing right now:
jeans
gray long-sleeved T
diamond earrings
3 of your favorite songs:
Big Log - Robert Plant
Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring - Bach
3 things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
Intelligence
Kindness
Athleticism
3 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
equal partnership
ability to laugh together
trust
3 of your favorite hobbies:
singing in choir
taking pictures of my kids
reading
3 Places you want to go:
Tahiti
Australia
Grand Canyon
3 things you want to do before you die:
learn how to ski
take a trip around the world with Luke
speak another language fluently
3 ways that you are stereotypically a female/male:
I scream at the sight of an insect in the house
I love to shop for clothes
I like talking on the phone
I will tag Anna and also tag readers Katie A. and Beth D. to answer in the comments
3 names I answer to:
Susan
Mommy
Hun
3 parts of your heritage:
Irish
German
Swedish
3 things that scare me:
losing a child
spiders
nuclear war
3 of your everyday essentials:
my computer
cranberry juice
breast pump
3 things you are wearing right now:
jeans
gray long-sleeved T
diamond earrings
3 of your favorite songs:
Big Log - Robert Plant
Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring - Bach
3 things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
Intelligence
Kindness
Athleticism
3 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
equal partnership
ability to laugh together
trust
3 of your favorite hobbies:
singing in choir
taking pictures of my kids
reading
3 Places you want to go:
Tahiti
Australia
Grand Canyon
3 things you want to do before you die:
learn how to ski
take a trip around the world with Luke
speak another language fluently
3 ways that you are stereotypically a female/male:
I scream at the sight of an insect in the house
I love to shop for clothes
I like talking on the phone
I will tag Anna and also tag readers Katie A. and Beth D. to answer in the comments
Saturday, February 11, 2006
A pretty ideal Saturday
First off - I slept in... until 7:30. I am not being sarcastic - it was very nice. I was up at 4:00 to feed Lauren but she went right back to sleep.
We lazed around in our pajamas for quite awhile. Now this "lazing" includes nursing Lauren every 2 hours for about 45 minutes each time this morning - but it also involves sitting in my pajamas using the computer with one hand - so it counts.
We all bathed and dressed and had lunch. Lauren took a little nap and so I worked on a puzzle and Luke did something or other on his computer while Nathan and Julia played.
After yet another nursing of Lauren we went out intending to go to Wal-Mart. Thankfully it was actually too crowded and so we did not go in and instead went to Payless and got Nathan some dress shoes. If we had made it inside the insame Wal-mart this day would have definately been less ideal. Only our dinner suffered...more on that later.
We then drove to Dunkin Donuts for afternoon snack followed by a stop at the park so I could nurse Lauren in the car while the kids played. It was only 35 degrees but it was sunny. The kids got a kick out of seeing the ducks walk around on the frozen lake.
We came home - I fed lauren again and we threw in a frozen pizza and pizza rolls in the oven (which meant no dishes). The kids cleaned up toys and showered and are now in bed. Luke is giving Lauren a bottle and then we will entertain her, I will feed her again and then I will fall asleep in front of Saturday Night Live.
Yep - this kind of normal everyday stuff is the kind I like. When I actually write down how often I feed Lauren it is a bit daunting, but like I said before - it is pretty relaxing - it just takes so much of my time.
So - what did you do today?
We lazed around in our pajamas for quite awhile. Now this "lazing" includes nursing Lauren every 2 hours for about 45 minutes each time this morning - but it also involves sitting in my pajamas using the computer with one hand - so it counts.
We all bathed and dressed and had lunch. Lauren took a little nap and so I worked on a puzzle and Luke did something or other on his computer while Nathan and Julia played.
After yet another nursing of Lauren we went out intending to go to Wal-Mart. Thankfully it was actually too crowded and so we did not go in and instead went to Payless and got Nathan some dress shoes. If we had made it inside the insame Wal-mart this day would have definately been less ideal. Only our dinner suffered...more on that later.
We then drove to Dunkin Donuts for afternoon snack followed by a stop at the park so I could nurse Lauren in the car while the kids played. It was only 35 degrees but it was sunny. The kids got a kick out of seeing the ducks walk around on the frozen lake.
We came home - I fed lauren again and we threw in a frozen pizza and pizza rolls in the oven (which meant no dishes). The kids cleaned up toys and showered and are now in bed. Luke is giving Lauren a bottle and then we will entertain her, I will feed her again and then I will fall asleep in front of Saturday Night Live.
Yep - this kind of normal everyday stuff is the kind I like. When I actually write down how often I feed Lauren it is a bit daunting, but like I said before - it is pretty relaxing - it just takes so much of my time.
So - what did you do today?
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Sick is not just sick (in this house anyway)
Well the blog has been quiet - so that means that life hasn't.
Julia started the morning early on Sunday by throwing up. She couldn't keep anything down all day. She is better now.
Lauren is now sick. She woke up at 4:00 am and was just crying and grunting in pain. She pretty much did this all day when she was not eating or sleeping and she has a fever. She also seems to have aches and pains. I almost wish she had vomiting or diarrhea so I would know she had Julia's bug. But she doesn't.
So - I can't be like a normal parent and call it a virus. No - I have thoughts of "bad" things. It doesn't help that she was crying out when I picked her up under the arms and that she has a low-grade fever. Those were Nathan's first symptoms of his cancer.
So - her pediatrician gamely let me bring her in at 6:30 this evening. She said they would do anything for us. She is, after all, the one who referred Julia for Kawasaki's disease treatment even though she didn't think she had it, saying, "She is a Gentry after all!" And - wouldn't you know it- a week after Julia's treatment her tests showed she DID have Kawasaki's disease. So - her doctor is almost as paranoid as I am.
No obvious infections. Lungs are clear - pulse-ox is fine. They even checked for a urinary tract infection. Yep - they put in a catheter. I really wonder if they would have done that for another patient or if they were trying to ease my mind. If they did it for me - then I feel bad...I didn't suggest it or anything.
Her doctor thinks she just has a virus and her body aches.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.
On a "happier" note - now that Julia has been sick I think we know why Nathan had such weird stuff going on on Friday - his body just handled it differently.
Julia started the morning early on Sunday by throwing up. She couldn't keep anything down all day. She is better now.
Lauren is now sick. She woke up at 4:00 am and was just crying and grunting in pain. She pretty much did this all day when she was not eating or sleeping and she has a fever. She also seems to have aches and pains. I almost wish she had vomiting or diarrhea so I would know she had Julia's bug. But she doesn't.
So - I can't be like a normal parent and call it a virus. No - I have thoughts of "bad" things. It doesn't help that she was crying out when I picked her up under the arms and that she has a low-grade fever. Those were Nathan's first symptoms of his cancer.
So - her pediatrician gamely let me bring her in at 6:30 this evening. She said they would do anything for us. She is, after all, the one who referred Julia for Kawasaki's disease treatment even though she didn't think she had it, saying, "She is a Gentry after all!" And - wouldn't you know it- a week after Julia's treatment her tests showed she DID have Kawasaki's disease. So - her doctor is almost as paranoid as I am.
No obvious infections. Lungs are clear - pulse-ox is fine. They even checked for a urinary tract infection. Yep - they put in a catheter. I really wonder if they would have done that for another patient or if they were trying to ease my mind. If they did it for me - then I feel bad...I didn't suggest it or anything.
Her doctor thinks she just has a virus and her body aches.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.
On a "happier" note - now that Julia has been sick I think we know why Nathan had such weird stuff going on on Friday - his body just handled it differently.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Nathan
I guess it is time for a more journal type of entry.
I just updated Nathan's caringbridge site with all things medical. So you might want to read that first.
So anyway - it was hard seeing him feel so bad today. He has actually felt so good these past 7 months since relapse we can pretty easily shift our focus away from his battle. I have been feeling some angst lately about his disease. There have been several relapses of other neuroblastoma kids and a few others having progression. In particular there have been a few who relapsed and got back into remission again only to relapse again recently. Since we stand at second remission with Nathan right now and knowing that chances of him NOT relapsing are very, very low it is disheartening seeing the evidence of that being true. I "know" these kids through the Neuroblastoma listserv on ACOR. Some of them I have met in person.
We have been waiting for a vaccine trial to open for Nathan. When he had his surgery in August we were told - "have him do 2 rounds of chemo and then come back for the trial in 6 weeks". After six weeks the trial still ahd not opened and we were told it would be another 6 weeks. Then we were told almost certainly the end of January and the latest is sometime in March. Meanwhile he has been doing rounds if chemo that are not very well tolerated by his bone marrow. If his disease comes back he will not be eligible for this trial (though he will suddenly be eligible for a zillion others). The hold up is FDA approval - so we don't blame the institution - we just wish it would hurry up at get approved. Nathan is eligible for so few trials since he has no measurable disease. That is FINE with us - but we know he still needs treatment and so this vaccine trial is ideal since it is not a chemo. I just keep thinking that it will keep being delayed and then he will relapse and we will always wonder if he had just gotten to do the vaccine trial maybe that would have been the thing that could have saved his life. Ughh.
Then - there are the set of non-life-threating problems I mentioned in his caringbridge site. A runny nose and chronic diarrhea/loose stools. I do believe we have now tried every single allergy medicine out there for his runny nose to no avail. His upper lip is always coated with snot. No matter how often his wipes or blows - there it is. It has been this way since he started chemo in April 2003.
Who knows about the loose stools. They have been a problem since his second surgery in November 2003. They are such an annoyance to him and they have contributed to him being skinnier than he should. I think he compensates by eating. He eats more than an adult does.
Anyway - Of all these things - the trial opening ASAP is top on my list. I can't explain how crazy it makes me that his life may be riding on this and there is nothing to do but wait.
Well - I have ignored Lauren long enough and her babbling is starting to sound a little fussy - so I will wrap this up - but I could go on and on....
I just updated Nathan's caringbridge site with all things medical. So you might want to read that first.
So anyway - it was hard seeing him feel so bad today. He has actually felt so good these past 7 months since relapse we can pretty easily shift our focus away from his battle. I have been feeling some angst lately about his disease. There have been several relapses of other neuroblastoma kids and a few others having progression. In particular there have been a few who relapsed and got back into remission again only to relapse again recently. Since we stand at second remission with Nathan right now and knowing that chances of him NOT relapsing are very, very low it is disheartening seeing the evidence of that being true. I "know" these kids through the Neuroblastoma listserv on ACOR. Some of them I have met in person.
We have been waiting for a vaccine trial to open for Nathan. When he had his surgery in August we were told - "have him do 2 rounds of chemo and then come back for the trial in 6 weeks". After six weeks the trial still ahd not opened and we were told it would be another 6 weeks. Then we were told almost certainly the end of January and the latest is sometime in March. Meanwhile he has been doing rounds if chemo that are not very well tolerated by his bone marrow. If his disease comes back he will not be eligible for this trial (though he will suddenly be eligible for a zillion others). The hold up is FDA approval - so we don't blame the institution - we just wish it would hurry up at get approved. Nathan is eligible for so few trials since he has no measurable disease. That is FINE with us - but we know he still needs treatment and so this vaccine trial is ideal since it is not a chemo. I just keep thinking that it will keep being delayed and then he will relapse and we will always wonder if he had just gotten to do the vaccine trial maybe that would have been the thing that could have saved his life. Ughh.
Then - there are the set of non-life-threating problems I mentioned in his caringbridge site. A runny nose and chronic diarrhea/loose stools. I do believe we have now tried every single allergy medicine out there for his runny nose to no avail. His upper lip is always coated with snot. No matter how often his wipes or blows - there it is. It has been this way since he started chemo in April 2003.
Who knows about the loose stools. They have been a problem since his second surgery in November 2003. They are such an annoyance to him and they have contributed to him being skinnier than he should. I think he compensates by eating. He eats more than an adult does.
Anyway - Of all these things - the trial opening ASAP is top on my list. I can't explain how crazy it makes me that his life may be riding on this and there is nothing to do but wait.
Well - I have ignored Lauren long enough and her babbling is starting to sound a little fussy - so I will wrap this up - but I could go on and on....
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
If you can't trust your own mother....
Nathan has always been a pretty cautious kid. Yesterday he and Julia wanted to watch a movie. Of course, it was when I was nursing Lauren. They never need anything from me unless I am too busy. Nathan hunted down the portable DVD player and battery. I told him to try to put the battery on and he told me he didn't know if kids were allowed to do that. It took much more persuasion for him to try. He is convinced that batteries are dangerous. I suppose I told him one time not to play with batteries. The thing is - he didn't trust me when I told him it was OK. I finally told him that I am his mother and that I, of all people, would not have him do something dangerous. Sheesh.
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