Living my life three months at a time

That is my reality. Now that Nathan has had clean scans we have a three month reprieve. I literally will only plan ahead in three month increments. Last spring we had the whole summer break planned out and then Nathan relapsed. It was so disappointing to have to cancel plans. I guess I am feeling burnt by that.

One of the fun things to plan in this period is a visit to my parents in Hilton Head. Nathan and Julia adore the beach, pool and grandparents there and have been talking about the trip for weeks already.

I just can't really describe the way it feels during scan time. It is as if someone is flipping a coin. One side says "your child gets to live..go on and have a normal life for 3 months" the other side says "your child is going to die, but first he will have grueling treatments and months of pain"

It makes it hard to live a normal life. Living a "normal" life is what I aspire to do and is something I work very hard at. That is really what it is all about for me. I don't think anyone knows how much work it really is for me.