Sweet girls

On Mother's Day

I have written about Mother's Day many times...here I go again.

This year I keep coming across other bereaved moms expressing how I feel - and I can't tell you what a comfort that is to me.  The bittersweet, the empty arms, the missing child in the photo, the desire to avoid church and all its hoopla that day.

I recently found a group of bereaved moms here in town.  That has been a huge blessing because I just need to be in their company from time to time - to be with other moms who understand.  We are having a mother's day brunch on Saturday.  At that table we will be completely comfortable with our shared discomfort with Mother's Day.  What a relief!

Kudos to Luke who is coming home from a week of travel late tonight and leaving again on a red-eye Sunday night for being more than willing to run the girls around to and fro so I can attend.

Kitchen Done!

The kitchen has been done for a week or two.  It is so nice to have it finished and the extra bonus was that we were waiting on wood floors in the family room until we re-did our kitchen and so we are enjoying those very much.  We now have wood throughout the lower level and love the flow it gives the house.

BEFORE


















AFTER

April 2012 Pictures

April was a busy, busy month.  It started out with a very busy Holy Week for me and then many activities for the girls.  Luke's parents came out for a visit to watch some of these various performances:

Church spring children's concert (both girls, I directed kindergarteners and Luke wrangled the kindergarteners)

Julia Destination Imagination state finals

Lauren violin recital

Julia musical theater production

Lauren track meets (her first time running and she really loves it)

Julia fourth grade choir singing National Anthem and minor league baseball game

Julia fourth grade choir performance at the school

Lauren violin book one graduation party

So - below is a slideshow of many of these things and more (some hiking and enjoying the grandparents too!)

(a note - I have posted some other entries in the last day or two - so keep scrolling)

Kitchen - Finally done!

It took about 9 weeks to put the final details on it. It is done and we love it! There may yet need to be some accessorizing.

Before

After

March 2012 photos

Looks like I am behind in posting photos.  March was another kind of slow month dominated by kitchen renovations.  We did go on a fun hike in March - so that is the majority of pictures.

I will post April in a bit - April had a million things going on so many more pictures there!

(rss: slideshow below)

Day to day with grief

I am sitting in the car waiting...by a house that has been stucco'd.  So I think back to when my house was stucco'd and I remember how it was being done as Nathan was dying.  I remember when it was all finished we took him outside, on a very sunny day, to see it, because he was housebound at the time  He couldn't walk anymore and so had to be carried and the act of being carried hurt him and the sun was too bright.  I tear up thinking of it all as Julia walks towards the car and smiles and me.  Thankfully I am wearing sunglasses so I do my best to smile back.

So - that is how it goes...just about any normal mundane thing in life can remind me of pain and suffering and death. It is just part of my life now.