Remembrances

This past Sunday at our church they read the names of all the church members who died in the past year. I was really kind of dreading it and kept going back and forth about if I was going to sing or not. I went to rehearsal and had to step out for a minute during one of the songs. I decided to sit with Luke and Julia for the first service and sing the second service. It ended being more emotional than I was expecting and so I was glad I was with them. Afterwards I didn't really feel like singing and so Luke and I had brunch.

The church has some sort of thing on Thursday for those who have lost a loved one this year. I have no clue what it is about and Luke and I haven't discussed going or not. I think we probably won't but I guess he'll read this and then we'll discuss it.

The local hospital is also having a ceremony soon to remember that children who died in the past year. Once again, I am not sure if we will participate or not.

I guess I am just not feeling like doing the grief thing lately and so I am ignoring it. I have not felt like participating the the parent group that meats during Julia's grief group (though I still participate, with Luke, in the grief group for parents who have lost children). If I went to both there would be some of the same people and it would then be an every week thing to be in a group and that is just too much!

Also, it is just that I remember Nathan every minute of every day and don't feel like I need official events. Perhaps that is all part of what we chose to do with his remains and not have a gravesite to visit.

I guess I'll let you know if I attend any of these things and how they go.