Velveteen Rabbit

I try to avoid reading the Velveteen Rabbit to Lauren but she asked for it today. It used to be fine to read it but ever since Nathan has died it always makes me cry at the end when the rabbit is thrown out and then transformed by the fairy into a real rabbit and then sees his former owner - who can't recognize him in his new body. It may be dumb, but I see it is a parable about what it really is to depart this earth and be made Real and that love lasts forever and well beyond the bounds of the earth and this life.

Today marks nine months since Nathan died. I usually try not to pay attention to dates because no one day means any more than the other as far as what his loss means to me. Today, however, I went to a funeral and noticed the date. The funeral was for a fellow choir member of mine and former basketball friend of Luke's. He was 76 and singing every Sunday until he went into the hospital a few weeks ago and playing weekly basketball until the last year or so. When he would see Nathan he would compare hearing aides with him. I was glad to learn more about his life today. I had bible study at church anyway this morning and Lauren was in the nursery so that enabled me to go and I am thankful for that.

It was a bit hard to be at this funeral. The funeral folders had the same mountain scene on the cover as Nathan's and at the very end the soloist who sang at Nathan's service sang "How Great Thou Art". She sang that song at Nathan's service and that is when Julia just started wailing in sorrow. So.... a bit hard but I got through it.