Thursday, June 16, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Ellie
I am writing this post for a reader, who until recently had no idea we had a dog.
This is Ellie. Her full name is Eleanor, named after my aunt Eleanor, who said that if no one would name their child after her, perhaps they would name a dog after her...and because we love her so much, we did!
We got Ellie a few months after we bought our first house in early 1999. We headed to the local humane society and while I was hoping for a terrier, we say this beautiful 4 month old dog and fell in love. She is some sort of shepherd mix. Another person had dibs on Ellie once she was availble for adoption in a few days. They had until a certain hour to come get her and so we showed up at our appointed time and were thrilled that she was still there and ours for the adopting.
She was very nervous on the car ride home and also when we got to the house. She had never seen stairs before and it took several days to convince her to go up and down them.
We tried keeping her in a crate but she cried and cried. One night I went to go sleep with her in the basement (with her in her crate) and she cried so I let her outside and she refused to come in. After that night she slept outside at night for about 2 years. Sometime 2 years later when I was sleeping in Nathan's room due to his teething I realized she took to barking in the early morning hours (his room was on the back side of the house) so we couldn't let he sleep outside anymore and she transitioned to sleeping inside again.
Ellie doesn't like other dogs or older men. We wonder if she was abused by an older man before we got her. She loves to chew her nylabone and likes to dribble her tennis ball. When she was younger she loved to play with two of her toys at once. If enough of our family settles down in one room of the house together she is very happy and will go find her bone and bring it in to chew with us all. Luke has worked from home her whole life and so her routine, especially in the last several years, is to go down to the basement with him to work and sleep down there with him all day. For that reason, she doesn't like weekends when she waits by the basement door for him to go down there.
She has had a few surgeries over the years. She has canine lupus on her nose and is developing cataracts now. She will be 13 in November. She is a very good dog!
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| Ellie when we just brought her home |
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| Me with Ellie as a puppy |
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| Ellie and baby Nathan |
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| Julia and Ellie (2004) after she cut her tendon on lawn edging |
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| Luke, Lauren and Ellie |
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| Ellie after surgery to repair her "knee" |
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| Her favorite place to sleep |
The rest of these pictures are of Ellie currently, the first several in desperate need of de-furring and the last after being groomed.
I have tried to fix my comment posting ability - so if you have failed in the past - try again!
Friday, June 10, 2011
May 2011 Pictures
May was a busy month! Julia started her cello lessons, there was a dance rehearsal, Mother's Day, third grade awards (Julia got the award for the most AR (reading) points of all the third graders), last day of preschool, and our very good friends Brian and Lori and their children Scarlett and Grahe came to visit us over Memorial Day.
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Cleaning
Sorry about the slow blogging...I have had some posts in my head so I am going to post them, some on delay.
First off - it is June. I like June, but June contains Nathan's birthday - so that is hard. Facebook doesn't help with the bombardment of 5th grade graduations and other friends with kids the same age having their birthdays.
The other day I finally tackled the rest of my medicine cabinet. I had done the bare minimum of pulling the dangerous medicines out of there a few years ago and brought as many as I grabbed to the hazardous waste disposal center.
I wasn't expecting how hard it was to throw away the rest of the stuff. There was all the line care stuff, andmany bottles of SSKI (drops to protect his thyroid before nuclear meds scans). There were also, to my surprise, many types of narcotics still hanging around, even a fentanyl patch which really shouldn't be just sitting around.
I was really sad throwing away all the supplies and I had to bag up all the narcotics until I take my next trip to the hazardous waste place.
What it comes down to is that I hate erasing pieces of proof that Nathan lived in our house, even when they are not happy things. There was some bit of comfort in rustling around the medicine and finding a replacement cap to the end of his lines. Over half of his life was spent with these items and they became a part of our life. I wouldn't want him to need them, but they remind me of him and his everyday presence.
Still - I did dispose of them - just through tears. And I was depressed the rest of the day - I didn't really realize it until Luke came up from work and I went to try to make dinner and found that emotionally I just couldn't do it and I cried and he ran out and got us some food.
First off - it is June. I like June, but June contains Nathan's birthday - so that is hard. Facebook doesn't help with the bombardment of 5th grade graduations and other friends with kids the same age having their birthdays.
The other day I finally tackled the rest of my medicine cabinet. I had done the bare minimum of pulling the dangerous medicines out of there a few years ago and brought as many as I grabbed to the hazardous waste disposal center.
I wasn't expecting how hard it was to throw away the rest of the stuff. There was all the line care stuff, andmany bottles of SSKI (drops to protect his thyroid before nuclear meds scans). There were also, to my surprise, many types of narcotics still hanging around, even a fentanyl patch which really shouldn't be just sitting around.
I was really sad throwing away all the supplies and I had to bag up all the narcotics until I take my next trip to the hazardous waste place.
What it comes down to is that I hate erasing pieces of proof that Nathan lived in our house, even when they are not happy things. There was some bit of comfort in rustling around the medicine and finding a replacement cap to the end of his lines. Over half of his life was spent with these items and they became a part of our life. I wouldn't want him to need them, but they remind me of him and his everyday presence.
Still - I did dispose of them - just through tears. And I was depressed the rest of the day - I didn't really realize it until Luke came up from work and I went to try to make dinner and found that emotionally I just couldn't do it and I cried and he ran out and got us some food.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
May 1-8, 2011
We had quite the busy week last week.
It started on May 1, the Sunday after Easter. Our church remembers those who died the year before on that day. Our friend MaryAnn has dubbed it "dead people Sunday". Ever since Nathan's name was read at that service 3 years ago, I have not wanted to relive it. So - we skip. We invited MaryAnn who does not like D.P.S. either to join us for breakfast out - which was great. That evening we had our usual Sunday night dinner with our friends (two other families). We always enjoy that!
Monday held school and ballet after school. Tuesday Lauren had violin and Julia started cello. I also helped out in Julia's class (which I do every Tuesday). Wednesday afternoon Lauren had a mother's day party at preschool and Wednesday night I had a 3.5 hour meeting for the Children's Museum we are trying to build. Thursday night I took Julia with me to choir rehearsal so she could rehearse her solo with the choir. As it turned out the choir's "oohing" was a little complex and we spent a lot of time on it. It was hard for Julia to hear her part on the third verse with our "oohs". She had complete confidence and got up in front of everyone and sang by herself with the piano first. She only got shy when the choir director started joking around about how much money she was going to make in the future and how he'd be her agent. She couldn't stand the attention and turned red and put her head down...poor thing. When it came to singing though...no shyness at all!
Friday the girls had their dance dress rehearsal. As usual the steaming and pinning of costumes took a while as did the hair. This year Julia needed a low bun (harder that a regular one because there is less hair to work with when it is low) and Lauren needed two french braids! Those french braids took at least 20 minutes for me. I was also a mother helper backstage, I try to do that in the spring. After the dress rehearsal we went out for pizza.
Saturday we had our first real warm day of the season and worked outside int he backyard most of the morning. I took Lauren to a group violin lesson and then came home and started working on costumes and hair again for the recital. After the recital we bought the girls some Dairy Queen and shopped for dinner. We had our first dinner outside on the patio of the season.
On Sunday, Julia and I got up bright and early to go to church for the soundcheck. She and I sung two services and then headed home. I proceeded to read and relax outside for most of the afternoon and then Luke and I made a dinner of steak, salmon, potatoes and asparagus and ate again outside.
Julia did a great job singing. Not perfect, of course, but really well for a nine year old who has not had much training. I was a nervous wreck singing next to her. In retrospect it may have been better if I had not sang that morning because I was trying to pay attention to her if she needed me to prompt her for anything and still sing my part, which we had just learned a few nights before and so didn't really know well enough to look up much. Of course, the camera angle had much of me on it, as nervous as I was, and I usually like to look a lot more relaxed and joyful when I sing, but it was all I could do to breathe.
She (and I and Luke) got many, many complements and it was wonderful to have her sitting next to me in the choir loft on Mother's Day. She proclaimed the whole experience as "fun", which is the best outcome!
A little more grief has been rearing its head now that the week is over, with all its performances as such. With Nathan's birthday and date of death being in the summer - there is a certain apprehension. I do see a overall curve, if you will, of grief and I can look back a bit now and see that the grief is not as intense, which is great. This is NOT to say I am "over it" or have "moved on", just dealing with it better overall. That also does not mean I don't have bad days, or weeks, but that they are less frequent, and I am grateful for that.
It started on May 1, the Sunday after Easter. Our church remembers those who died the year before on that day. Our friend MaryAnn has dubbed it "dead people Sunday". Ever since Nathan's name was read at that service 3 years ago, I have not wanted to relive it. So - we skip. We invited MaryAnn who does not like D.P.S. either to join us for breakfast out - which was great. That evening we had our usual Sunday night dinner with our friends (two other families). We always enjoy that!
Monday held school and ballet after school. Tuesday Lauren had violin and Julia started cello. I also helped out in Julia's class (which I do every Tuesday). Wednesday afternoon Lauren had a mother's day party at preschool and Wednesday night I had a 3.5 hour meeting for the Children's Museum we are trying to build. Thursday night I took Julia with me to choir rehearsal so she could rehearse her solo with the choir. As it turned out the choir's "oohing" was a little complex and we spent a lot of time on it. It was hard for Julia to hear her part on the third verse with our "oohs". She had complete confidence and got up in front of everyone and sang by herself with the piano first. She only got shy when the choir director started joking around about how much money she was going to make in the future and how he'd be her agent. She couldn't stand the attention and turned red and put her head down...poor thing. When it came to singing though...no shyness at all!
Friday the girls had their dance dress rehearsal. As usual the steaming and pinning of costumes took a while as did the hair. This year Julia needed a low bun (harder that a regular one because there is less hair to work with when it is low) and Lauren needed two french braids! Those french braids took at least 20 minutes for me. I was also a mother helper backstage, I try to do that in the spring. After the dress rehearsal we went out for pizza.Saturday we had our first real warm day of the season and worked outside int he backyard most of the morning. I took Lauren to a group violin lesson and then came home and started working on costumes and hair again for the recital. After the recital we bought the girls some Dairy Queen and shopped for dinner. We had our first dinner outside on the patio of the season.
Julia did a great job singing. Not perfect, of course, but really well for a nine year old who has not had much training. I was a nervous wreck singing next to her. In retrospect it may have been better if I had not sang that morning because I was trying to pay attention to her if she needed me to prompt her for anything and still sing my part, which we had just learned a few nights before and so didn't really know well enough to look up much. Of course, the camera angle had much of me on it, as nervous as I was, and I usually like to look a lot more relaxed and joyful when I sing, but it was all I could do to breathe.
She (and I and Luke) got many, many complements and it was wonderful to have her sitting next to me in the choir loft on Mother's Day. She proclaimed the whole experience as "fun", which is the best outcome!
A little more grief has been rearing its head now that the week is over, with all its performances as such. With Nathan's birthday and date of death being in the summer - there is a certain apprehension. I do see a overall curve, if you will, of grief and I can look back a bit now and see that the grief is not as intense, which is great. This is NOT to say I am "over it" or have "moved on", just dealing with it better overall. That also does not mean I don't have bad days, or weeks, but that they are less frequent, and I am grateful for that.
Friday, May 06, 2011
Photobooks
I have been slowly working on our family pictures and making photo books (digitally) to preserve them. I take a lot of pictures so each book is 1-3 months. When Nathan got sick, our friend Lori, took it upon herself to scrapbook for us and made many books for us. Not too long after Nathan's death, I took over and have been working on them one by one. I watch for sales and when there is a good one, I make the next book. I recently finished May 2007.
So - here I am, staring right at June, July and August 2007. I have several dilemmas. Which pictures do I include? There are a few pictures, taken 10 days or so before Nathan's death that I keep in a separate folder so as not to accidentally have them pop up on my screensaver. I have only looked at them a few times. I don't even know if I posted them on here - they are terrible to see, not gruesome or anything, just the reality of death approaching and cancer taking over. Some earlier in the month also show this, but at least he is still doing something and not just lying on the couch in pain.
As far as the funeral goes, there are no pictures really...I was given one of my dad holding Lauren at the reception. I think I will include a scan of the funeral program. That pretty much explains it.
And then, starting in August - the pictures go on, without Nathan.
Yeah, maybe mother's day weekend is not the time to work on them....
So - here I am, staring right at June, July and August 2007. I have several dilemmas. Which pictures do I include? There are a few pictures, taken 10 days or so before Nathan's death that I keep in a separate folder so as not to accidentally have them pop up on my screensaver. I have only looked at them a few times. I don't even know if I posted them on here - they are terrible to see, not gruesome or anything, just the reality of death approaching and cancer taking over. Some earlier in the month also show this, but at least he is still doing something and not just lying on the couch in pain.
As far as the funeral goes, there are no pictures really...I was given one of my dad holding Lauren at the reception. I think I will include a scan of the funeral program. That pretty much explains it.
And then, starting in August - the pictures go on, without Nathan.
Yeah, maybe mother's day weekend is not the time to work on them....
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Robins
I pair of robins has made our backyard their spring home. More specifically, our outside table and window sill. I haven't seen a nest anywhere, but the female spends all her time looking inside our family room. I wonder if they are trying to figure out how to get inside to build a nest. They have also tried tapping on the window to get in. The dog's water bowl is their water source.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Easter girls - 2011
I made this post last year and just thought I would update it for this Easter. I think there is a big change between last year and this year! We had a really good Easter. We all got up really early and I sung four services and Luke and the girls went to the 7:00 service and also Luke helped with handicap assistance and so they went out to eat and came back to church to do that. I finally got home around 1:00 and we relaxed for a bit before joining friends for an Easter dinner.
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| Easter 2011 |
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| Easter 2010 |
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| Easter 2009 |
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| Easter 2008 |
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| Easter 2007 |
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| Easter 2006 |
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| Easter 2005 |
Easter 2000 - with Nathan in my tummy!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Dream - April 21
Luke started tossing and turning somewhere before 6:00 this morning. I guess I should be grateful because it allowed me to wake up and then fall asleep again and have a really detailed dream about Nathan. In the first part of the dream we were swimming. He had floaties on his arms but they were small and he managed to swim under water with them. At some point we were out of the water and he was standing right next to me and I asked him a question and he answered it, just exactly how he spoke, which I can't explain, and ended with a little laugh. I put my arm around him. We went to figure out a prescription and it was taking a while and the pharmacist wanted to substitute something else so I told Nathan "Go see your Daddy" and told her he was terminally ill but was doing really well and we didn't want to change anything. At this point in the dream in my mind it was 2010 and he had lived another 3 years. He was about 6 in the dream though. The next part of the dream was a big dinner at our house and a lot of our friends were there and Nathan had two of his friends there and it was nice seeing him interact with them. I didn't recognize them though.
There was more fuzzy stuff, but my favorite part was the conversation I had which was pure Nathan. Of course seeing him smiling face was wonderful too.
There was more fuzzy stuff, but my favorite part was the conversation I had which was pure Nathan. Of course seeing him smiling face was wonderful too.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Life right now
Part of the purpose of this blog is for me to record life. I have not been very good about that lately.
What is life like right now?
It is pretty typical. I have to remind myself that when Nathan was ill - typical is what I strived for.
Generally, life is mostly about the kids right now.
Warning - this ended up long and sounding like a Christmas letter, which I have never done and now know why! Since you read my blog you know everything is not all roses so at least you can read this knowing that!
Julia is involved in dance, musical theater and kid's choir at church. She is in third grade but rarely has homework, lucky girl. Most days she gets up at 6:30am and if it is "her" day on the computer plays some computer games until 7:30 when she gets ready for school. She gets on the bus at 8:13 and returns home at 3:47. We still walk out to the bus with her in the morning but she comes in on her own. We can't see the bus stop from the house even though it is very close so somehow I can't bring myself to let her go out and not know if she got on. Silly, I know. I'd have to revisit the issue next year but conveniently, Lauren will be joining her so I have an excuse to still go (I say "I" but it is usually Luke).
Julia would like to play the cello and we have an interview tomorrow with a teacher. She will have to give up one of her other activities and has also been warned that practice will often take place before school. I am also expecting (hoping?) she will have more homework next year so she will be busy.
Julia spends a lot of her free time reading. She is a voracious reader and we borrow many library books at a time. When the weather is good and we are not busy she loves to play outside, riding her bike or scooter with neighborhood kids.
Julia loves to sing and will be singing a solo with the sanctuary choir on Mother's Day. This is a pretty big deal as our choir is very large and good. I will be backing her that morning up in the choir loft. I am nervous, but she is not!
Julia just got glasses and is enjoying being able to see better. She has been told she looks like "Junie B Jones" and I told her if that is the worst they can come up with, she is lucky! She is very tall for her age and still has beautiful strawberry blonde hair and many freckles. She has the cutest laugh.
Lauren has preschool Monday through Thursday afternoons. She LOVES preschool and is definitely ready for kindergarten next year. I will be sending her to full-day kindergarten and she will ride the bus with Julia.
She has violin lessons Tuesday mornings and some Saturday mornings. She is progressing so well and really enjoys playing. She loves a good challenge and is willing to push herself. She also has dance and kids choir at church. We had been doing Monday and Wednesday morning swimming lessons but she got too advanced for the morning offerings. I let her have Tues. and Thurs. after school lessons in March and all the running around almost killed me so this month I am trying to take her myself and coach her. She does a lot of lap kicking and I am so impressed at her perseverance. She wants to continue with lessons so when summer comes I will do that for both girls.
Lauren is still a big cuddler and just wants to come sit on my lap and snuggle. She is always so considerate of others. Every night when I put her to bed she tells me to have a good evening. She has a bedtime hug and kiss routine she developed where she gives a kiss and a hug three times followed by a big kiss and big hug.
While Lauren is at preschool I have a few things going on. On Tuesday afternoons I go to Julia's classroom and administer timed math-fact quizzes. Most of the kids love doing them and often beg me to do it again but I have to get through the whole class. I like getting to know Julia's classmates. She loves it when I come in and always gives me a big hug. Most weeks I have a meeting for an organization that is trying to bring a ch*ldren's museum to our town (yes I misspelled it on purpose to avoid search engines. We don't have one here and given the large population of kids and the big tourist industry here it is a no-brainer that we should! So - we are making an effort.
I just finished a Thursday morning bible study and on Tuesday mornings Lauren has violin. For her violin she is to practice every day. As she learns more songs, practice can get longer and longer. I am big part of her practice and so this is a daily activity for me too. If/when Julia starts cello this will be doubled. If I have time I like to play my cello or violin. If I have time I will play harmony with Lauren's violin. It is good practice for her to keep to her melody.
Both Luke and I are involved in Wednesday night children's choirs at church. We are the kindergarten helpers. We both are also on a committee to address plans for next year and I am also going to become a liaison for Wednesday nights in a committee for children's ministry. I am also in the sanctuary choir which meets Thursday nights and then we sing two services on Sunday. This time of year there are lots of extras. There are 7 commitments in the next 13 days. So of course I have come down with a sore throat and cough. I am not sure if I will be able to sing! I love choir and it is a great "me" thing to have.
Luke and I recently joined a Sunday school class. I have to miss half of it in order to sing second service but it is good to get to know some of our peers in our huge church. On Sunday nights we have dinner with two families every week. We have been doing that for two years or so (the other two have been doing it for many years - they asked us to join them a few years ago). It is a wonderful blessing to have that fellowship and friendship.
I love to cook and sometimes our schedule messes that up but I really love the fact that most every night I cook a delicious nutritious meal for us and we sit down in the dining room together to eat it. This is how I grew up and I love it.
Luke is very busy with work, and has been for the past year. Currently he is traveling but for the first 4 months of this year he had impossible deadline followed by impossible deadline and so it was a bit stressful. He still works out of our home (and has done so for almost 13 years now). He has gotten to see his kids more than the average dad this way over the years. There are a few drawbacks but the positives outweigh them for sure. He is a deacon at our church and helps out with handicap assistance on Sundays. He plays basketball at the church every other week and tries to make it to the gym during the week. His main hobby is playing his guitar and one of the great perks of working from home is that when he takes a break he can just reach for the guitar for a few minutes. He has been teaching himself guitar for about four years and has made a lot of strides. Sometimes he pulls out the guitar and I pull out violin, cello, or mandolin and play along...it is fun!
I am looking forward to May and cessation of many of everyone's activities for the school year. School gets out somewhere around the first of June but we never know the exact date until the first or second week in May (which is very annoying because school may be out before OR after Memorial Day so plans could be made if we knew).
This summer, as we usually do, we will be traveling to my parent's house in South Carolina and also to my in-laws' house in Illinois. Julia will be going to church camp for her first sleep-away came experience. Music lessons will continue in the summer as will choir for me. We plan to spend free days at the pool and playing outside. We will probably throw in a vacation bible school week in there somewhere. My parents may come visit in August. They haven't been here in the summer since Nathan's funeral and so we really hope that happens so we can get out and do some fun things instead of hanging around inside the house.
So - what is missing? We are quite busy, but what I would like to do better on is:
the gym for me!!! - I think this will happen will Lauren goes to school full-time next year
seeing friends - I have had almost zero time to spend time with the friends I do not have joint activities scheduled with. There are about 7 friends I would love to get together with. Some I haven't seen in many months and I really miss them! This will also get better in the fall, I hope. I also see I just need to schedule these things, even in a few weeks in advance!
Time for Luke and I - we are due for another trip by ourselves. We rarely even get out together because of our busy schedules and lack of easy babysitting. We are always looking for time and will grab when we can! We did get to go an a marriage retreat this winter - so that was great!
Keeping the house cleaner - also hoping I do better on this next year! I do not come by it naturally!
So - that is the state of things, for now. Kudus to you if you had the patience to read this.
What is life like right now?
It is pretty typical. I have to remind myself that when Nathan was ill - typical is what I strived for.
Generally, life is mostly about the kids right now.
Warning - this ended up long and sounding like a Christmas letter, which I have never done and now know why! Since you read my blog you know everything is not all roses so at least you can read this knowing that!
Julia is involved in dance, musical theater and kid's choir at church. She is in third grade but rarely has homework, lucky girl. Most days she gets up at 6:30am and if it is "her" day on the computer plays some computer games until 7:30 when she gets ready for school. She gets on the bus at 8:13 and returns home at 3:47. We still walk out to the bus with her in the morning but she comes in on her own. We can't see the bus stop from the house even though it is very close so somehow I can't bring myself to let her go out and not know if she got on. Silly, I know. I'd have to revisit the issue next year but conveniently, Lauren will be joining her so I have an excuse to still go (I say "I" but it is usually Luke).
Julia would like to play the cello and we have an interview tomorrow with a teacher. She will have to give up one of her other activities and has also been warned that practice will often take place before school. I am also expecting (hoping?) she will have more homework next year so she will be busy.
Julia spends a lot of her free time reading. She is a voracious reader and we borrow many library books at a time. When the weather is good and we are not busy she loves to play outside, riding her bike or scooter with neighborhood kids.
Julia loves to sing and will be singing a solo with the sanctuary choir on Mother's Day. This is a pretty big deal as our choir is very large and good. I will be backing her that morning up in the choir loft. I am nervous, but she is not!
Julia just got glasses and is enjoying being able to see better. She has been told she looks like "Junie B Jones" and I told her if that is the worst they can come up with, she is lucky! She is very tall for her age and still has beautiful strawberry blonde hair and many freckles. She has the cutest laugh.
Lauren has preschool Monday through Thursday afternoons. She LOVES preschool and is definitely ready for kindergarten next year. I will be sending her to full-day kindergarten and she will ride the bus with Julia.
She has violin lessons Tuesday mornings and some Saturday mornings. She is progressing so well and really enjoys playing. She loves a good challenge and is willing to push herself. She also has dance and kids choir at church. We had been doing Monday and Wednesday morning swimming lessons but she got too advanced for the morning offerings. I let her have Tues. and Thurs. after school lessons in March and all the running around almost killed me so this month I am trying to take her myself and coach her. She does a lot of lap kicking and I am so impressed at her perseverance. She wants to continue with lessons so when summer comes I will do that for both girls.
Lauren is still a big cuddler and just wants to come sit on my lap and snuggle. She is always so considerate of others. Every night when I put her to bed she tells me to have a good evening. She has a bedtime hug and kiss routine she developed where she gives a kiss and a hug three times followed by a big kiss and big hug.
While Lauren is at preschool I have a few things going on. On Tuesday afternoons I go to Julia's classroom and administer timed math-fact quizzes. Most of the kids love doing them and often beg me to do it again but I have to get through the whole class. I like getting to know Julia's classmates. She loves it when I come in and always gives me a big hug. Most weeks I have a meeting for an organization that is trying to bring a ch*ldren's museum to our town (yes I misspelled it on purpose to avoid search engines. We don't have one here and given the large population of kids and the big tourist industry here it is a no-brainer that we should! So - we are making an effort.
I just finished a Thursday morning bible study and on Tuesday mornings Lauren has violin. For her violin she is to practice every day. As she learns more songs, practice can get longer and longer. I am big part of her practice and so this is a daily activity for me too. If/when Julia starts cello this will be doubled. If I have time I like to play my cello or violin. If I have time I will play harmony with Lauren's violin. It is good practice for her to keep to her melody.
Both Luke and I are involved in Wednesday night children's choirs at church. We are the kindergarten helpers. We both are also on a committee to address plans for next year and I am also going to become a liaison for Wednesday nights in a committee for children's ministry. I am also in the sanctuary choir which meets Thursday nights and then we sing two services on Sunday. This time of year there are lots of extras. There are 7 commitments in the next 13 days. So of course I have come down with a sore throat and cough. I am not sure if I will be able to sing! I love choir and it is a great "me" thing to have.
Luke and I recently joined a Sunday school class. I have to miss half of it in order to sing second service but it is good to get to know some of our peers in our huge church. On Sunday nights we have dinner with two families every week. We have been doing that for two years or so (the other two have been doing it for many years - they asked us to join them a few years ago). It is a wonderful blessing to have that fellowship and friendship.
I love to cook and sometimes our schedule messes that up but I really love the fact that most every night I cook a delicious nutritious meal for us and we sit down in the dining room together to eat it. This is how I grew up and I love it.
Luke is very busy with work, and has been for the past year. Currently he is traveling but for the first 4 months of this year he had impossible deadline followed by impossible deadline and so it was a bit stressful. He still works out of our home (and has done so for almost 13 years now). He has gotten to see his kids more than the average dad this way over the years. There are a few drawbacks but the positives outweigh them for sure. He is a deacon at our church and helps out with handicap assistance on Sundays. He plays basketball at the church every other week and tries to make it to the gym during the week. His main hobby is playing his guitar and one of the great perks of working from home is that when he takes a break he can just reach for the guitar for a few minutes. He has been teaching himself guitar for about four years and has made a lot of strides. Sometimes he pulls out the guitar and I pull out violin, cello, or mandolin and play along...it is fun!
I am looking forward to May and cessation of many of everyone's activities for the school year. School gets out somewhere around the first of June but we never know the exact date until the first or second week in May (which is very annoying because school may be out before OR after Memorial Day so plans could be made if we knew).
This summer, as we usually do, we will be traveling to my parent's house in South Carolina and also to my in-laws' house in Illinois. Julia will be going to church camp for her first sleep-away came experience. Music lessons will continue in the summer as will choir for me. We plan to spend free days at the pool and playing outside. We will probably throw in a vacation bible school week in there somewhere. My parents may come visit in August. They haven't been here in the summer since Nathan's funeral and so we really hope that happens so we can get out and do some fun things instead of hanging around inside the house.
So - what is missing? We are quite busy, but what I would like to do better on is:
the gym for me!!! - I think this will happen will Lauren goes to school full-time next year
seeing friends - I have had almost zero time to spend time with the friends I do not have joint activities scheduled with. There are about 7 friends I would love to get together with. Some I haven't seen in many months and I really miss them! This will also get better in the fall, I hope. I also see I just need to schedule these things, even in a few weeks in advance!
Time for Luke and I - we are due for another trip by ourselves. We rarely even get out together because of our busy schedules and lack of easy babysitting. We are always looking for time and will grab when we can! We did get to go an a marriage retreat this winter - so that was great!
Keeping the house cleaner - also hoping I do better on this next year! I do not come by it naturally!
So - that is the state of things, for now. Kudus to you if you had the patience to read this.
Saturday, April 09, 2011
Encounters
Since December I have had several run-ins with the staff of Nathan's oncology clinic. He spent 4 1/2 years under their care and that means I spent a whole lot of time with these doctors and nurses. I love to see them, but it is always emotional and I am left shaken a bit. It is hard to explain.
On Thursday afternoon I ran into one of Nathan's oncologists, but not the main one. We would see this one when the other one wasn't available. He said some very nice things about how everyone still remembers us and about missing seeing me at the clinic. Still, I left the encounter feeling shook up and a bit uneasy. Over these 3 1/2 years I have seen all the staff, except one, Nathan's primary doctor. He has since retired due to Parkinson's** and the last time I saw him was at Nathan's funeral. He means so much to Luke and I. We feel so very blessed to have had him for Nathan's doctor. The care he gave Nathan, and the way he dealt with Luke and I was superb. He made a terrible situation the best it could have been.
Friday, I ran out to Sam's club at the last minute and guess who I saw? This wonderful doctor! Just one day after seeing the other one. He reached for a hug immediately and we talked for several minutes catching up. He told me that he had been hoping to run into me and that he thinks of us often. We talked about how crazy it was to both of us that it we just passed the 8 year mark of diagnosis. He had just started here in town a few days before Nathan was diagnosed and I think Nathan was his first diagnosis in his new city. We had a great talk and I didn't even tear up once (which I always do) and I left the encounter, not shaken, but very happy. I did tear up afterwards, because I felt so thankful I saw him, and the timing of seeing him was just right.
** a note on the Parkinson's. I wrote here about learning of his retirement and how sick it made me feel. On Friday, we talked about how he is doing and about how, at the time of his retirement, it was not what he wanted but looking back at many things which have happened since, the timing was right and he mentioned the mysterious ways God works. I was so glad to hear and see that he is doing so well. The disease is progressing quickly, but he seemed to be in as good a place as he could with it.
On Thursday afternoon I ran into one of Nathan's oncologists, but not the main one. We would see this one when the other one wasn't available. He said some very nice things about how everyone still remembers us and about missing seeing me at the clinic. Still, I left the encounter feeling shook up and a bit uneasy. Over these 3 1/2 years I have seen all the staff, except one, Nathan's primary doctor. He has since retired due to Parkinson's** and the last time I saw him was at Nathan's funeral. He means so much to Luke and I. We feel so very blessed to have had him for Nathan's doctor. The care he gave Nathan, and the way he dealt with Luke and I was superb. He made a terrible situation the best it could have been.
Friday, I ran out to Sam's club at the last minute and guess who I saw? This wonderful doctor! Just one day after seeing the other one. He reached for a hug immediately and we talked for several minutes catching up. He told me that he had been hoping to run into me and that he thinks of us often. We talked about how crazy it was to both of us that it we just passed the 8 year mark of diagnosis. He had just started here in town a few days before Nathan was diagnosed and I think Nathan was his first diagnosis in his new city. We had a great talk and I didn't even tear up once (which I always do) and I left the encounter, not shaken, but very happy. I did tear up afterwards, because I felt so thankful I saw him, and the timing of seeing him was just right.
** a note on the Parkinson's. I wrote here about learning of his retirement and how sick it made me feel. On Friday, we talked about how he is doing and about how, at the time of his retirement, it was not what he wanted but looking back at many things which have happened since, the timing was right and he mentioned the mysterious ways God works. I was so glad to hear and see that he is doing so well. The disease is progressing quickly, but he seemed to be in as good a place as he could with it.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Brother and Sister
I love it when Lauren has a "shared experience" with Nathan. Since she was only 20 months old when he died, she didn't get to actually have very many. Preschool has been one of them, in the same classroom with the same teachers as Nathan.
Here are some pictures I took recently, and some old ones of the same park.
As for the other brother and sister - here is a picture I recently put in a photobook of Julia and Nathan....so sweet.
Here are some pictures I took recently, and some old ones of the same park.
As for the other brother and sister - here is a picture I recently put in a photobook of Julia and Nathan....so sweet.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Monday, April 04, 2011
Lame
I mentioned a few posts ago I need to show you why Luke and I were the lamest couple at the marriage retreat.
We were lucky and got up there early, dealing with some crummy traffic in Denver, but not nearly as bad as those who came after us. We check in at the desk and proceeded over the the picture station. At first I thought they were doing some construction over by the stairs but quickly realized it was all part of the weekend theme, "Marriage, Extreme Heart Makeover Edition" or something like that. There was tape and cones and vests so I asked the picture taker if we had to dress up for the pictures and I was told no. So, we didn't.
Later as they began taping the pictures up I saw that EVERYONE else had used the props.
On Saturday night, we had a "contest" that involved competing as small groups, some involving silly things. Luke and I then just declared that we were lame and our picture was proof. We just aren't into play-acting, being goofy, pretending AT ALL. Not one bit. We could have done the picture, but being that it was a marriage weekend and we concluded that we are very happy together, why not just be lame together?
We were lucky and got up there early, dealing with some crummy traffic in Denver, but not nearly as bad as those who came after us. We check in at the desk and proceeded over the the picture station. At first I thought they were doing some construction over by the stairs but quickly realized it was all part of the weekend theme, "Marriage, Extreme Heart Makeover Edition" or something like that. There was tape and cones and vests so I asked the picture taker if we had to dress up for the pictures and I was told no. So, we didn't.
Later as they began taping the pictures up I saw that EVERYONE else had used the props.
On Saturday night, we had a "contest" that involved competing as small groups, some involving silly things. Luke and I then just declared that we were lame and our picture was proof. We just aren't into play-acting, being goofy, pretending AT ALL. Not one bit. We could have done the picture, but being that it was a marriage weekend and we concluded that we are very happy together, why not just be lame together?
Saturday, March 19, 2011
She's mocking me
I think I recently blogged that I bought a cello and that I played the cello from ages 5-13 and then quit. I probably hadn't played a cello since I was 17 or so.
I decided to buy suzuki cello book 3 because I actually remember playing those songs.
I open the book and see this little girl
Here is a link to a girl playing one of the songs in the book if you are interested in the level.
It is fun to be playing again so I am just trying to ignore the picture.
I decided to buy suzuki cello book 3 because I actually remember playing those songs.
I open the book and see this little girl
Now I am playing a piece that utilizes many high positions and vibrato and is not "easy" but man, does she make me feel old and slow! I have no clue what age I was when I first played this, but still...
Here is a link to a girl playing one of the songs in the book if you are interested in the level.
It is fun to be playing again so I am just trying to ignore the picture.
Friday, March 18, 2011
February Pictures
Pictures from February...plus I actually blogged something last night, below this post.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
St. Patrick's Day and Lent
I have been to choir rehearsal tonight. We rehearsed a beautiful choral arrangement of the following song. I found it a fitting choice as a celtic tune and for this season of lent. I wish I could find the choral arrangement to share as it is better than this solo one. Here are the words.
O love divine amazing love
That brought to earth from heaven above
The Son of God for us to die
That we might dwell on high
He died for you
He died for me
And shed His blood to make us free
Upon the cross of calvary
The Savior died for me
Edited to add Here is a link to an mp3 of the choral version
http://beckenhorstpress.com/audio/1900.mp3
O love divine amazing love
That brought to earth from heaven above
The Son of God for us to die
That we might dwell on high
He died for you
He died for me
And shed His blood to make us free
Upon the cross of calvary
The Savior died for me
Edited to add Here is a link to an mp3 of the choral version
http://beckenhorstpress.com/audio/1900.mp3
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Life
Hmm...still light on the blogging. What have we been up to?
We went skiing last weekend with my brother and his family. It was my second time skiing. I started out on the bunny hill for an hour or two and then went up the big lift. Last time I tried the lift twice and fell both times. This time I made it off without falling and managed to do much better skiing overall. I still came down the greens with very wide turns but made it down many times without a fall so that was a success! Julia took a lesson and I think we will be able to try her on the big hill next time. Lauren made it to the bunny hill but turning is still a bit of an issue. Luke has been a skiier for years so he was very nice and skiied with me a lot of the time. I sent him off to some blacks here and there.
The weekend before, Lauren had a group concert for violin. She and I played a duet of Lightly Row, with me on the cello. Yes, I did go ahead and buy myself a cello a few weeks ago. It has been really fun getting back into playing it after 20 years. I have a video, which I have shared some, but I am unhappy with my intonation in it. I may post it, we'll see. She did great!
The weekend before that one, Luke and I went to a marriage retreat with our church to Estes Park. It was a really good weekend. We went into it feeling like we didn't really have any major issues and luckily came out of it assured that we don't and that we are on the same page about things and manage to communicate about marriage types of things on a regular basis anyway. Our senior pastor and his wife spoke and are fabulous. We even got to repeat our vows, which was meaningful to me especially since Luke and I didn't have a Christian wedding so saying these vows in a new light was really special.
The weekend before that one was when Luke's sister, Anna and her boyfriend were here. (did I make up for naming him and not Anna last time??)
February pictures forthcoming....plus a post with picture and why Luke and I were the lamest couple at our retreat!
We went skiing last weekend with my brother and his family. It was my second time skiing. I started out on the bunny hill for an hour or two and then went up the big lift. Last time I tried the lift twice and fell both times. This time I made it off without falling and managed to do much better skiing overall. I still came down the greens with very wide turns but made it down many times without a fall so that was a success! Julia took a lesson and I think we will be able to try her on the big hill next time. Lauren made it to the bunny hill but turning is still a bit of an issue. Luke has been a skiier for years so he was very nice and skiied with me a lot of the time. I sent him off to some blacks here and there.
The weekend before, Lauren had a group concert for violin. She and I played a duet of Lightly Row, with me on the cello. Yes, I did go ahead and buy myself a cello a few weeks ago. It has been really fun getting back into playing it after 20 years. I have a video, which I have shared some, but I am unhappy with my intonation in it. I may post it, we'll see. She did great!
The weekend before that one, Luke and I went to a marriage retreat with our church to Estes Park. It was a really good weekend. We went into it feeling like we didn't really have any major issues and luckily came out of it assured that we don't and that we are on the same page about things and manage to communicate about marriage types of things on a regular basis anyway. Our senior pastor and his wife spoke and are fabulous. We even got to repeat our vows, which was meaningful to me especially since Luke and I didn't have a Christian wedding so saying these vows in a new light was really special.
The weekend before that one was when Luke's sister, Anna and her boyfriend were here. (did I make up for naming him and not Anna last time??)
February pictures forthcoming....plus a post with picture and why Luke and I were the lamest couple at our retreat!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Garden of the Gods
We love living in Colorado Springs for many reasons. Garden of the Gods is one of them. It is a beautiful, red rock, free, city-owned park. We just went there this weekend with Luke's sister and her boyfriend, Chris.
Here are the three kids, each in the same little nook
Here are the three kids, each in the same little nook
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| Nathan, July 2005, 5 years old |
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| Julia, July 2005, 3.5 years |
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| Julia, February 2011, 9 years |
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| Lauren, February 2011, 5 years |
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