"I used to assume that grief was something inside that you could fight and vanquish, but it’s not. It’s an external thing, like a shadow. You can’t escape it, you just have to live with it. And it doesn’t grow any smaller. You just come to accept that it’s there…." — "Broadchurch"
I think that is very true. I'm sad every single day. That doesn't also mean I'm not happy every single day. Tears come to my eyes all the time...I don't often let them out but they are there. It's not possible to miss Nathan less. I never missed him more at the beginning it was just that the lack of his presence was more keenly felt at the beginning. Unfortunately I have had to learn to live a life without him and so I am used to living life without him. That's not the same as not being sad about it. It sucks.
Thank you to Vickie, Robin, and Erin for commenting on my last post. I think I do have things to say and now I know I have a few people to say them to. No pressure to continue to comment...I'll know you are there.
3 comments:
I don't know you in real life, but we are Facebook friends and I started reading your blog during Nathan's last year of life. I can't believe it has been eight years. As a mother and someone who works in healthcare, often with children and often seeing terrible loss, I really appreciate you allowing me glimpses from your perspective. I will always be sorry for all of the loss that Nathan's death has left behind. Thank you for sharing.
That is such an eloquent quotation. I'm so sorry you have reason to identify with it. But thank you for expressing this--how it is to grieve now. I care so much about you, and want to know.
Nathan matters.
Glad you decided to post!! It's hard to believe it's been 8 years. When you have something to say, you should say it, and I'm glad that you have. Hugs to you Susan.
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