So - now that I know that there are a few of you out there...can I just say how much it sucks that Nathan isn't graduating in a few weeks? He didn't go to prom, he isn't going to college in the fall.
Instead I had a bizarre dream where he was alive - but not much older than he was and his doctor came over to try to figure out what he needed to do next for treatment and we were getting ready to go back to New York.
When he died I was warned his sisters would re-grieve at each of their own new developmental stages. I'm just now finding out how much hurt there is there...a simple act of having Julia come sit on my bed with me...she said she couldn't sit there after a minute because she was flashing back to the conversation we had on that bed when we told he he was going to die.
It just sucks.
1 comment:
I read this but didn't respond when you first posted it, because I just didn't have words. I guess I still don't have words but want to be here with you.
After I read it I was making the fire and was thinking about Nathan, picturing him as he might have been now, and I grieved. Sometimes I can't wait for heaven.
much much love
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