Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Healthy Heart

Three years ago, a few months after Nathan died Lauren had her two year old checkup.  Her doctor referred her to the pediatric cardiologist because she had a very loud murmur.  An echocardiogram revealed  that it was a "functional murmur".  Today she went back for a recheck and her murmur is much quieter and everything looks good.  That was a relief.

Bringing her in, however, had its own triggers.  I remembered the day Nathan fainted after chemo and I had to bring him in there for a stat echo.  I remembered bringing in Julia for an echo that finally helped prove she did have Kawasaki Disease.  I remembered a conversation I had with a just-turned-two year old Lauren the last time we were there in the parking lot.  She saw the hospital and immediately associated it with Nathan.

Also, I had to fill this out:


5 comments:

Mongoose said...

Good news about Lauren but that form sucks. But in a way I'm not sorry for you that it still hurts, of course I'm sorry you lost Nathan but at least you're not losing his memory. I find myself not remembering and not being triggered anymore by the things associated with what I've lost. I don't even remember how I used to feel. I have the knowledge that something ended and it hurt me, but I've lost what it was. As much as your trauma sucks, I don't wish you to "get over it" or "get better." Personally I liked grief way better than "acceptance."

Blessed said...

yay about Lauren's heart.

: ( about the rest.

But I agree with Mongoose.

OMH said...

Yay about Lauren's Heart! I'm so sorry about the form and the memories. I don't check in as ofter as I used to but I still remember y'all in prayer often.

Anonymous said...

I wish for you triggers that bring happy holiday memories during the rest of this season, even though I know the happy memories bring pain. Nathan brought so much joy to so many--I hope that many can remember him with that joy this season and always. His Grandma Kathy is missing him.

Pam said...

I'm glad her heart is good. I remember when you mentioned that before.

I hate those forms.