Tomorrow

So - I may be going to a funeral tomorrow. In my church - eight (no - nine) weeks later.

One of my fellow choir members lost her husband to cancer. She hasn't been able to sing for a while but when she did, I always looked forward to sitting next to her. When I was pregnant she talked to me of singing in the choir when she was pregnant, too. That baby is in his forties now.

I had been considering going to the funeral but not sure if I could do it. Then she asked the choir to sing "How Lovely is Thy Dwelling Place". I think I can do that. I really want to do that for her. I will be sitting in the choir loft, which is my usual place to be, not like at Nathan's funeral at which we sat in the front row. I will NEVER sit in the front row again if I don't have to.

Babysitting plans have been made, but Julia has come down with pink-eye. She can be at home with Luke without causing him interruption, so now Lauren is still set to go.

I feel like the decision will be made for me tomorrow. There is a good chance sickness will keep me home. Either Lauren or I might have pink-eye by the middle of the day as far as I know.

I checked with the choir director tonight at rehearsal to make sure that "How Great Thou Art" was not going to be sung as a solo as it was at Nathan's funeral. I am certain I would NOT make it through that. Even so, I am a little worried that I will be hit with flashbacks and emotion.

So - I will wait to see what sickies are in store tomorrow...

Oh - and there is another issue; what to wear? When I bought the dress I wore to Nathan's funeral I was determined I would wear it again for other things. Well, here I am again, needing a dress appropriate for a funeral and it is going to be quite warm tomorrow so it would make sense to wear that dress again. I haven't worn it since Nathan's service - so if I wear it tomorrow it just might become my "funeral dress" and that will be it.

Don't know.